As a writer, I find that writing prompts are an excellent way to work through writer’s block and to help my craft. When I search for prompts, I always see similar or same prompts, one of those being: “Write a letter to your teenage self." I’ve always had the habit of ignoring that prompt. I always thought that it was silly and a less useful exercise. It was one that I skipped over and ignored, but on my search for prompts about a week ago, I decided to give the letter a try. There was no reason as to why I finally decided to do this prompt. I did not expect to see any spectacular results from writing a letter to my teenage self. What was the purpose of writing a letter that the addressed person could not read? How would that improve my writing?
After writing my personal letter of advice to my sixteen-year-old self, I realized that I did not understand its actual purpose. As I wrote my letter and thought of the advice that I would give to a younger self, I found myself thinking about my entire life. My life now, my life then, how my life has changed, all the things life has taught me, and how much I have in life to be grateful for. Writing a letter to a younger version of yourself is not meant to help you as a writer, it’s meant to help you understand and appreciate your life. I am very surprised by how therapeutic and beneficial this prompt actually is.
It made me see how far I have come since high school. Even though there is not much of a time gap between the writer and the letter’s addressee, I found it to be a beautiful and magical experience. It is a practice that I recommend to everyone. It is important to recognize the changes (no matter how great or small) that happen in our lives because you may not be the same person you once were.
My letter:
Dear Miss Alyssa,
Well, a lot sure has changed over the years. You are no longer sixteen and in high school. In the year 2016, you are a twenty year old English major and art minor at the University of New Haven. Back in Liverpool, you would write songs, dress in mini-skirts and fishnet stockings, layer your lips in red lipstick, and dream of living in New York City. I remember being that girl from Liverpool high school. I am sure that you would be shocked to see how you became the woman I am today. Maybe you’d be disappointed.
Maybe you’d be pleasantly surprised. But everything that will happen to you will be essential to your greater story. You will go through a lot of changes and learn many lessons. Everything that happens after this point in your life will be a surprise, some of them being predictable, some of it unforeseen. Now thinking about it, there are a lot of things that I wish someone would have told you about life. You will learn these things along the way, but I thought that this letter would not be complete without a list of advice. Your life will be quite the journey, but I promise that all your choices and all of your life changes will be worth it.
1. There is no such thing as a perfect life plan.
There is no such thing as a perfect life plan and no such thing as a perfect life. I remember how you had your entire life planned out. You would live in a New York apartment by age twenty-five and be signed to a music publishing company by age thirty. You would be single forever, have a glamorous, expensive lifestyle, and you would have three cats and a chihuahua.
You had your entire life planned out: your education, your career, what you would accomplish and when you would accomplish them by. You left very little room for change. You thought that you could write your own life like a song. But in reality, you can’t always control the key, the tempo, or what instrument come in and out. Come to find out, your life is not even a song. After your freshman year of college, your entire life plan will change.
You’ve changed your mind about a lot of things. You’ve changed your major, your life goals, your career path, and, more importantly, the way you see and experience the world around you. You will read your old diary entries and look at old photographs from high school and wonder what ever happened to you. At first you will be frightened about these changes; you will worry that you may have forgotten who you are. Do not be afraid of change. Change is proof that you have lived and learned. In the next four years, you will live.
2. Learn to let go of people.
Before you graduate from Liverpool High School, you will have a major fallout with a close person. And before your junior year at University, you will be in contact with only one friend from your graduating class. You will not know a lot of people from Liverpool like you once did. You will break hearts, burn bridges, and, for a while, feel bad about doing so. You will feel like every lost connection is your fault. But all relationships of all kinds take effort from all sides. You will figure out that not every relationship was meant to last. People come and go while a very select few stay. It is essential and healthy to let people go. Just let go. Let go of the people you do not need, then, there will be more room for the people who were meant to be in your life. Those people are worth your time and energy.
3. Don’t be afraid of a little adventure.
This is a funny memory… When you were accepted to your university, mom told you something funny during your orientation. She told you that you have everything you need on campus and so there would be no reason for you to venture off campus. She was so nervous (well, she is still nervous) and didn’t want you to step a foot off campus. I remember that, for the most part, you were a rule follower in high school. You pretty much did what was told of you. So you will be surprised to hear that you will go on lots off-campus adventures. You will explore downtown by yourself, go on hiking trips with friends, discover some of your favorite places, and you will become closer to yourself and others in that process. You will be afraid at first, being adventurous will enrich your life in so many ways. Soon, you will be exploring all sorts of places and you will want to expand your horizons even further.
4. Never be afraid of your own personal power.
You’ve always had some confidence issues (among a ton of other issues). You’ve always believed that someone like you could ever be a leader or create anything important. When you go off to college, you will prove yourself wrong. Though you may question it at times, you will be important and will do wonderful things with amazing people. You will take on new positions, responsibilities, and organize events. You will be respected, so learn to respect yourself a little bit more.
5. Cut back on coffee.
PLEASE. You know that eight cups of coffee is not healthy. Stop pretending that it is!
6. Be more open minded.
I recall that someone told you that you were the most closed-minded person they have ever met. You were confused. You accepted everyone for who they were. You never judged people based on their religion, race, sexuality, or anything. How could you be closed-minded? Well, turns out that you could be a little more opened minded. Not open-minded in relation to other people, but in relation to yourself. This sort of bounces off the whole not having a perfect life plan. Keep your mind open to the opportunities open to you and try not to judge yourself too harshly. If you’re open to change, you may surprise yourself.
7. Listen to the right people.
Let’s be honest: you are really good at hanging on to the wrong people. You always look for the best in other people, which makes it harder for you to accept that there are toxic people. You listen to them and you believe them. It seems like you only listen to the right people only after you learn to not listen to the wrong people. You will get better at this, it just takes practice. You’ll see that some words are worth more than others. What makes it difficult, though, is that sometimes, the wrong people to listen to are not toxic at all. Bad advice and discouraging words can come from good people. Keep those people, just don’t ask them for an opinion. You’ll learn this skill eventually.
8. Listen to yourself.
Back to your self-confidence issue, I know that you have problems trusting yourself. Your opinion, thoughts, feelings, and voice matter. They are important and should not be questioned by yourself. Your opinion is worth listening to, your thoughts are interesting, your feelings are not wrong, and your voice can be powerful. Listen to yourself because you deserve to be your own person.
9. Know that it is okay to not be 100% okay.
Just as how there is no perfect life, there is no such thing as a perfect person. Everyone has problems, insecurities, and internal battles. Stop trying to be perfect, it’ll only stress you out and make things worse. If you are having issues, know that it is okay. All your flaws and quirks are a part of life.
10. Do not hesitate to be yourself.
With the way you dressed in high school, everyone thought that you were never afraid to be yourself. But as remember, sometimes when you got ready for school in the morning, you would question what you were wearing. You would think “would so-and-so like this?” “Am I disappointing people?” “Will this get me in trouble?”
It seemed like you did things for other people’s approval. Individuality is one of your core values, yet you would question your choices and think about what others would think. You should be whoever you want to be. Be outlandish, be simple, be a hippie, a hipster, a cat, or whatever. Just be yourself for yourself. I can promise you that, in a few years, you will be more yourself than you have ever been. It will be wonderful and you will feel great.
11. It’ll get better…but you’ll still have issues.
I know that it’s tough for you right now at LHS. You don’t have a lot of friends, kids are mean, and you feel a little misunderstood. It’s rough for little sixteen year old Alyssa. I wish that I could say that life is perfect after high school. But I’m not going to say that. What I will say is that life does get better and that life is worth living. It gets better after high school, but problems don’t just go away. You’ll have new problems, old insecurities sneaking up on you, and real world things like loans and grocery shopping. You’ll still have problems, but you’ll feel better about your life.
12. Your life will be beautiful.
Despite the crazy journey and the rollercoaster of ups and down you will go through, your life will be great. You will be doing things that you love, you will be surrounded by great people, and you will be living life as creatively and as passionately as you can. All I can say is that you will be satisfied with the next few years. So get ready to enjoy the beautiful ride.
See you in four years,
Twenty-year-old Alyssa
