Being in college, there's the general knowledge that you could very well meet your future husband. It's nerve-wracking and also exciting to think about. In all of the excitement, we can often let our minds get caught up in it. We let our thoughts run at a thousand miles an hour and forget to bring them back to reality. Maybe that's just me, but I doubt it.
If we're not careful, we end up dating some bimbo who we really don't even like, just because they have one quality about them that we love. We ignore the bad qualities and glorify the good things. People tell us that we can't change them, but it doesn't matter because you're gonna try anyway. Here is where I want to introduce the husband list. You may have heard of it and may have even written one. Below, I have a few points of why I think a husband list is important for us to have, especially as we get older.
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1. It makes us really think about qualities we like
When you have to write down what qualities you would like in a husband, it causes you to think really hard and realistically. Now, you can't write your husband list to match up with whoever you're dating. You've got to set feelings aside for a little bit, if possible, and really think about what you like. Do you like someone with a good sense of humor? Do you want someone laid-back or someone that always has the plan? Do you want someone outgoing or someone who is more quiet? For me, I want someone who I can be totally silly with and serious with when it's needed. I need someone who is going to help me remain calm when I get unnecessarily obnoxious. I need a strong and humble leader who seriously loves Jesus. Last year as I read through my Bible, I was reading the book of Proverbs when the Holy Spirit gave me the idea to make a husband list when I saw a quality I liked or thought would pair well with my personality. I strongly recommend it. Proverbs is known for its wisdom, so why not read through it and glean from what it says a godly man looks like? You will also learn what a godly woman looks like –– so go ahead and take some notes there as well.
2. It keeps you from dating the wrong people
Once you have your qualities down, everyone that comes along will have to be looked at through that lens. This can be hard. Sometimes a guy will come along with most of the qualities you have listed but not all. We can be tempted to let those few qualities slide because, "He's such a nice guy!" I'm just going to stop you right now. If he does not fit all of the qualities, you move on. You can be friends. If he eventually develops those qualities, then go for it. If not, you wait until you meet the person with all of the qualities. No compromising, ladies. Do not budge. I don't care how nice he is. If that quality wasn't important, you wouldn't have written it down. I know it seems hard, but God knows what you need and He will provide it. He is the God of the impossible. Now, this doesn't give you permission to be ridiculous with your list. Be realistic.
3. You can pray specifically for him
So, you wrote down that you want a husband who is good with money. Now you go and pray that he stewards his money well and that God rewards his faithfulness. General prayers aren't a bad thing, but I think it helps when you have something specific to pray about it. For instance, I have written that I want a husband who has a good work ethic. So I pray that God strengthens his hands and heart to do the work he is called to do. I pray that he does not lose heart when doing good, but endures with patience until he receives the promises of God. I want a godly husband, so I pray that God sets him apart for Himself. I pray that he is surrounded by friends who encourage him in the Lord. I pray that his hunger for God grows and that God satisfies that hunger. Prayer is powerful. You don't have to know someone to pray for them. That's what is called intercession.
4. You begin to pray for yourself
Sometimes we get so focused on our husband list, that we forget that we will be the wife of that person. That's when you allow God to purify your character. You are going to be his partner, so you need to be strengthened in your relationship with the Lord. Go ahead and pray for yourself. Ask God to show you what needs to be removed from your life. Learn how to be a loyal friend who loves at all times. If you're not a good friend, it's doubtful that you'll be a good wife. In your season of singleness, you dedicate yourself to being satisfied in Christ alone. If you are not satisfied with Christ now, you won't be satisfied when a guy comes along. Learn to love Him and be loved by Him. Only then will His love flow out of you onto others. Trust Him with your list and then leave it with Him. Don't worry about it. You focus on the work before you. You look at Christ, the prize of your life. Eventually, someone will start running with you.
