Tinder, Clover, Match, Zoosk, Bumble, OkCupid. The list of dating apps and sites goes on and on. We swipe, we click, we message and repeat. It all seems so mundane, so monotonous. And for what? To meet someone who seems really promising only to discover that their intentions were different than yours? To find out they're looking for a one-night stand while you're looking for a "rest of your life?" This same routine gets tiring pretty fast.
It used to be the case that you could go on a romantic date and come home with butterflies in your stomach -- the start of an exciting new relationship. But nowadays it seems like you have to sort through pages and pages of virtual "junk" if you will -- frauds, players, scam artists and worse, just trying to find the right person to fill the void of loneliness in your life, the empty space in your bed, the spaces in between your fingers. It's pretty discouraging when every time you try to give someone new a chance they just let you down and disappoint. But then you tell yourself the problem isn't the medium of online dating, the problem is just that you're meeting the wrong people. Surely the right one will come along soon enough, and who's to say they don't have a Tinder profile, right?
My problem with the online dating game is this: it's just like an online masquerade party. Everyone just hides behind their phone screen, spinning tales of what a great person they are in their Tinder bio, calculatedly selecting the photos where they look the manliest, the friendliest, the happiest, the prettiest, the skinniest. Personally, I try my best to be as honest as I can on my online dating profile (yes I'll admit I have one), but I know that no one who sees it is seeing the real me, just the best version of me. The me that I believe is likable. The me I wish I could be all the time. And I feel like when someone on a dating website "likes" me it's not for my personality, but just because I'm another pretty face. Maybe subconsciously I just made my profile for the self-validation of how physically attractive (or not so attractive) I am. Just a way to boost my self-esteem, so I can come to the conclusion that the reason I'm still single has nothing to do with my looks. I guess it must just be my personality after all then.
This is what all these dating apps and websites do to me. They make me overthink the reasons why certain other users of the site may or may not like me. Then I get to thinking about how I could make myself more likable. Maybe dye my hair. Cut it short. Wear more makeup. Lose a few pounds. Or maybe I could just be myself and let the world see me for who I really am, and let the rest fall into place as it will. Yeah, let's try that.
