I remember those days like it was yesterday. I was sitting in my freshman year algebra class taught by Mr. Perkins, wondering if I would even pass the class, let alone any math class that I would take for the remainder of my high school career. I remember sitting there as lessons were taught, either passed out asleep on my desk, or daydreaming, mercifully beaming off into a sea of never ending space. I was fed up, disinterested, and felt that there were simply better ways to be spending my time. I ended up failing that semester, and had to go to summer school to retake the class.
As high school went on, I noticed a pattern that was emerging. In classes that I was genuinely interested in, my grades were significantly better than classes that did not interest me. My English, History, and Music classes always turned out high marks, while my math and science classes were a struggle just to earn a passing grade. All of my time spent outside of school went into the things I was passionate about; Writing, learning about history, and music. I only did homework assignments if the material interested me, and my GPA suffered greatly because of that. It's not that I was unmotivated, it's just that my angsty teenage self felt that it was a waste of time to do work that wouldn't benefit me in the long run!
With that in mind, when the time came around that I really had to figure out what I was going to do after high school, I really wanted to major in journalism, and play music on the side. I've always loved writing, and have always felt that words are an intrinsic form of expressing the nature of the self. Writing has always come relatively easy for me, and thought I might as well travel the road where my talents lie. However, I also knew that music needed to remain a fundamental part of my life. So for each school that I applied for for a journalism degree, I ALSO filled out an application to audition for their jazz program.
Somewhere along the way, I realized something; The decision of where I wanted to attend college hinged almost entirely of whether the school had a good music program or not. I realized that I really didn't care about how good of a journalism program all of these schools had, as long as the schools offered plenty of performance opportunities for music. I realized that music was the thing I have been putting so much time into all of these years. I took private lessons for 8 years, spent MANY hours in the practice room, played in countless school ensembles, participated in summer camps, and played in local jam sessions. This was the one thing that I truly had the motivation to succeed in. I always knew this in the back of my head. So why didn't I consider majoring in music from the get go?
The answer is pretty straight forward; I was absolutely convinced that there's no way I could make a living doing what I love. My grandfather was a professional musician his entire life, and growing up he always told me "The music business is simply dead." He drilled that into me from a very young age, and as a result, I just believed it and never thought about it for myself. It was when I explored that concept on my own that I started to have a change of heart.
After finding out I got into the two top music programs on my list, spending countless hours doing research, and many conversations with my family, we mutually decided that I should take the plunge; I would major in music. I discovered that there are many opportunities to make money in the music business. Teaching, Performance, Composition/Arranging, Music Journalism, and many, many more. The opportunities are there, it's just up to the musician to go and find them. Just as any field, it evolves over time, so what it takes to be successful in this business has also changed over the years.
I chose to major in music because I value a life of self fulfillment much more closely than I value a life of material wealth. I chose to major in music because the thrill I get from performance is something I simply cannot live without. I chose to major in music because I realized that since we only live once, that it is absolutely imperative that I do everything in my power to be happy every moment that I possibly can. There is an unparalleled feeling of fulfillment every musician gets after a nailing that perfect solo, or playing the melody of a piece just as they intended it to sound. There is an unforgettable rush of adrenaline every musician experiences after playing a show that they can be proud of. It is this feeling that I, along with MANY other musicians cannot live without. In a society where technology is taking over everything, the arts are ever more important towards the nourishment of the human soul. Don't get me wrong, fields such as business and engineering are ever more important towards the advancement of our society. Without those fields, we simply would not progress. But the arts are just as important because they allow humans to feel emotions, in a world filled with numbers and abstract thinking. Without things like music, writing, painting and other art forms, humans would be robots, living in a completely emotionless world. It is the emotion that music invokes in me that makes it irresistible. It always has me coming back for more.
I am completely aware of the fact that music is a tough field to make it in. I understand that I won't be simply handed a job once I graduate from music school. But I feel as though the enticing allure of the unknown makes my musical pursuance all the more thrilling. Younger musicians are finding unbelievably creative ways to make their living, and I cannot wait to discover the opportunities that I can create for myself. It is a creative lifestyle that has always given my life meaning, and I have found that my life's work should be no different.
Throughout this process, I have became ever more thankful that I decided to pursue music. College has become ever more expensive, and choosing a major that I would not put the work in for is simply thousands of dollars down the drain. If I had chosen to pursue business or engineering, I know deep down that I just wouldn't be able to put the work in. If I would not be able to put the work in school to earn the degree, there would be no chance that I would succeed in those fields in the professional world. Music has always been my safe haven, my escape. For if I wasn't able to play music on a day to day basis, I simply would not be able to survive. One of the biggest secrets to happiness in life is leading a life of self fulfillment.
