1. Spill scalding hot coffee on myself.
2. Get locked out of my house during a blizzard.
3. Run a mile without wearing my FitBit.
4. Slip and fall on ice in front of a crowd of people.
5. Burn the roof of my mouth on pizza.
6. Swim in Taylor Lake.
7. Research Bee Movie memes.
8. Feel an emotion.
9. Feel every emotion.
10. Invest in Trump Steaks ®.
11. Miss the Cruiser.
12. Wear denim-on-denim.
13. Burn popcorn.
14. Back-stalk everyone I know on social media.
15. Get back-stalked on social media.
16. Lose my 'Gate Card.
17. Drunk text my mom.
18. Rush DKE.
19. Listen to the Nickleback discography.
20. Stand in the Jug Line.
21. Make out with Tomi Lahren.
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22. Download Windows Vista.
23. Microwave my right hand.
24. Set my bed tent on fire.
25. Watch every episode of Degrassi at .5 speed.
26. Buy a Samsung Galaxy S7.
27. Accidentally like someone's Instagram post from six months ago.
28. Talk politics at Thanksgiving dinner.
29. Bring back the Spanish future subjunctive tense.
30. Lose my fracket on a night out.
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31. Sleep on an inflatable pizza slice.
32. Be in the College Republican's GroupMe.
33. Create a Bumble account.
34. Write a human interest piece on Siri.
35. Go to a Budget Allocation Committee meeting.
36. Tear my ACL.
37. Eat all of my lipstick.
38. Throw my laptop off of the top of the Burj Khalifa.
39. Throw myself off of the top of the Burj Khalifa.
40. Write a Campus Distributions email.
41. Drive across the country listening to the Chainsmokers' "Closer" on repeat.
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42. Lick the floor of a frat basement.
43. Do the ice bucket challenge.
44. Drown in the River Styx.
45. Eat lunch with Steve Buscemi.
46. Delete my Twitter account.
47. Take a cattle prod to the face.
48. Get the lyrics for the Kidz Bop version of Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop” tattooed on my inner thigh.
49. Give birth to sextuplets.
50. Join the cast of MTV's "Real World."
51. Take credit for the architectural design of the Dana Arts Center.
52. Ingest an entire candle.
53. Let John Goodman give me a full body massage.
54. Read steamy Sonic the Hedgehog fan fiction.
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55. Resubscribe to Colgate Career Services’ email list.
56. Dig my own grave.
57. Be buried alive.
58. Eat snow off of a frat lawn.
59. Relive all of 2016.
60. Have a romantic evening with Ted Cruz.
61. Be a Contributing Editor for the Westboro Baptist Church’s Odyssey community.
62. Only drink Keystone for the rest of my life.
63. Assassinate Shakira.
64. Use Bing as my primary search engine.
65. Perform stand up comedy for a living.
66. Be reincarnated as Shrek.
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67. Give up honey mustard.
68. Write an Odyssey article.
69. Literally anything.
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
