I was sitting in the library the other day and overheard two girls talking about a friend whose date for semi-formal had bailed on her to go with another girl...which I have to say is an extremely shitty move. It wasn't the guy or what he did that bugged me. It was the way they talked about the girl like it was her funeral or something. They acted like this was the worst thing that could have ever happened and that she would never recover. To go alone was not even an option.
Ladies, you are worth more than any significant other ever is.
Boyfriends are nice. But so are you.
There is no reason to feel like not having a significant other means you aren't doing something right. I see so many girls my age and so many of my friends go chasing after boys who are not worth them of their friends. I watch time after time as friends go back to boys who broke their heart or listen as they go on about Tinder dates gone wrong. And there's nothing wrong with second chances or Tinder or Bumble or anything like that, it's the principles these girls are acting on.
Sometimes second chances are not deserved. And Tinder boys are definitely good looking, but that does not justify the 2:00 "wyd, you up" and unsolicited dick pictures.
No boy who makes you question who you are and how you act in negative ways is ever worth it.
You deserve the world, not an Old Row t-shirt.
You are worth more than a shacker shirt or a function band. I know that there is more to every story and that for some girls maybe all you are looking for is a little fun and free shirts. And that is a-okay.
I also know that there are girls out there hurting and wondering why they are not good enough. But darling you are. You are worth so much more than some boy with a Juul and business degree ever will be. Wait for the guy who treats you like gold.
No relationship will ever be perfect, I know that. There will always be fights, tears, misunderstanding, and so much more. There is a line though. A line between a healthy relationship and one where you are being dragged through the mud. There is no reason for a boy to use you as an emotional punching bag and then tell you he is not ready for a relationship. There is no reason for you to put your life on hold for a boy who just does not have his life together. And there sure as hell is no reason for you to be his reason to live. It's unhealthy and unfair on you. So many girls get stuck in relationships with unstable boys who trap them for various reasons, and it is not right.
You do not owe a boy anything.
You don't owe Kyle from Theta Apple Pie or Zach from Tinder or really sweet Ben you met in the caf anything. Whether you go on a date or they give you notes from the bio class you missed, you do not owe them a thing. There is no reason to feel bad for saying no or for declining anything.
So sisters, what I'm trying to say is that you deserve so much more than what most of these boys are giving you. (and they deserve the same effort you deserve)
There's a quote by Stephen Chbosky that goes some like this, "We accept the love we think we deserve." And girlfriend it is true. You deserve a boy who will make sure that you study enough for tests, knows your favorite soup, encourages you on your bad days, talks shit with you, shares his life and his thoughts, and so much more. You deserve someone who will give as much as themselves to you as you do to them. Find someone who knows you are the sun and basks in your glow.