If you have a winter birthday, you know what I mean when I say that it is the absolute worst. Every year I would tell my parents that all I wanted was a snowless birthday, which was unheard of in the dead of January in Chicago. Here are 12 of the worst things about having a winter birthday.
1. It always snows.
It is cold. It snows. There is nothing appealing about stepping outside just to get frostbite up to your ears.
2. And the snow isn't pretty.
This photo is from an article about life in "Chiberia". As soon as Christmas passes, the snow doesn't hold its magic anymore. It turns into this black mush that absolutely no one wants to look at.
3. No one wants to go out.
The look your friends give you when you ask to go bar hopping and it's negative 20.
4. Everyone is broke.
The holidays just passed, no one has the money to go out or buy you presents! They just bought you a present!
5. People group your birthday with Christmas/ Hanukkah.
You're ending up with half passing presents that serve for both occasions.
6. Being cold doesn't look cute.
You can leave your heavy coat at home so you look cuter but then you run the risk of looking like our good friend Jack here.
7. You will snot. All day.
"I'm so cold that I can use my nose drippings as a pair of chopsticks"
8. Getting winter themed presents.
Listen, I live in Chicago. I own sweaters, scarves, gloves, coats, all of it! I don't need that stuff for my birthday.
9. Everyone is on a diet.
Everyone is on their New Years resolutions and when I go out to eat my birthday dinner, I wanna eat. Y'all out here being a buzzkill on my winter eats.
10. Public transportation is so much less reliable.
As if the CTA didn't already suck, now you've added bad weather to the mix. And your boy ain't driving while he's drinking so this is my only option!
11. Seasonal depression.
I am so sad by the time my birthday rolls around that the probability of me getting out of bed to do anything fun is pretty low.
12. Spending your birthday surrounded by Christmas music and decorations.
Make the nightmare end!
