It's the day. You marked it on your calendar, and all of your friends wait for your text message commemorating what is hopefully good news. It's the day a college decision comes out. You pull out your laptop, sit in silence and can hear your heart pounding. The screen loads as you finish typing your login information and await your fate. What's the decision going to be? Accepted? Maybe.
But, your secret fear: what if the screen says something else? What if it says anything but the word you've been dreaming about and silently yearning for? What if it says rejected? Or deferred? Or waitlisted?
It's a scary thought to ponder upon but one that every senior worries about — the fear that everything you worked for and studied for will not go as you expected.
That feeling is scary but also annoying. I know I shouldn't place my value upon a college rejection, that when one door closes another door opens. I know all of these somewhat cliche yet crucial mantras, and yet, my heart aches. I worry I'm not ready for the decision, whatever it may be. The next four years of my life, the culmination of my high school efforts, will all be summarized in the oh-so ominous yet awaited email: an update has been posted to your application portal.
Before my mind wanders into the unforgiving realm of paranoia, however, I have to stop myself. I know that worrying will not change the outcome, that regardless of whether I'm deeply despondent or joyful, the result is the same. I know that all of us are so much more than an application can capture, that no matter what college we go to, we are capable of success and having the future of our dreams. I know that life goes on, and if anything, I'm excited for what's next.
Even if we face the sting of rejection, I know that good things will come in the future. And while the wait is annoying, it only comes when we don't give up. We need to accept that while we cannot control what comes or where we go, we can take our futures into our own hands and avoid being defined by our rejections.
The college process has been confusing and enlightening and intimidating, but all the while, I look forward to the results, regardless of whatever word they have waiting for me.
If the result is what I want, that's amazing. If it's not, that's amazing in a different kind of way. While cliche, I'll remind myself that when one door closes, another one opens.
So long as I'm willing to open it.
