I can’t count the times in which I’ve lost several friends whom I thought would be there forever. I remember how distraught I was over their abandonment. They left me wondering how we had drifted apart and why things had turned out like they did. I remember dating people whom I thought I would be with forever, but the relationships would sometimes end before they even started. All these things used to be incredibly tragic for me, until I realized that there is a beauty in change and it’s an art form to learn how to lose.
Life is temporary, despite what we would like to believe. Although I am not a practicing Buddhist and far from being any religious scholar, I remember the words of Siddhartha after he witnessed death, sickness, and old age and looked at all the luxuries he had in life saying, “...but when I consider the impermanence of everything in this world, then I can find no delight in it. Yes, if the triad of old age, illness, and death did not exist, then all this loveliness would surely give me great pleasure. But the world looks to me as if ablaze with an all-consuming fire." After seeing these three truths of life he began to think of the world as running toward it’s inevitable demise; everything being temporary.
I don’t think I have to go into the spill about how we are all going to die and how everything is temporary. Milk has its expiration dates and some flies live a week. At most, everything is running on its own clock and sometimes we can read the hands of time while other times we can’t -- so don’t be afraid. I don’t think that we should stop delighting in life because its temporary, I think that we should do just the opposite. When a friendship begins to crumble, when the love of your life walks away, if things don’t turn out like you expect them to, release your hold. Everything behind you is burning and anything that is not functioning in your presence is gone. It sucks to miss a chance but if it is meant to be, it will present itself to you again. Here is what I know, the future is foggy and the past is on fire, the only safe ground is the present, so live. Don’t be the person that lingers so long in their past that they eventually turn to ashes along with it.
The smoke of memories will probably always haunt you, but that’s just life. Smoke may follow for a time, but you are not burning. Celebrate the moments you have now, the friends who love you before they drift away and you can hardly remember their names, the boyfriend who gets you before he finds someone new, and even your youth before you slip into your older years. Respect and enjoy the changes that come to you. It is part of the adventure, that some things must pass away. Learn how to be a master of the art of losing to gain and moving on to live. The world may be on fire but without the flames, I don’t think life would be half as interesting or even half as bright.
