First of all, if you haven't seen Netflix's "Stranger Things," stop right now and go watch it. I'll wait here (it's only eight episodes, I believe in you).
This whirlwind caused by the show's release has brought so much attention to the sci-fi genre, the incredibly talented actors and actresses and the Duffer brothers—the show's creators. Most of this positive media attention has focused on one character, Barb, played by breakout star Shannon Purser, and her seemingly one-sided friendship with Nancy (Natalia Dyer).
After I followed "Stranger Things" on all of their social media (links will be at the bottom), I noticed a popular meme going around.
There are even photos of potential merchandise.
Be yourself.
I have spent my life as a Barb. I have friends who are Barbs. We all know a Barb. Being a Barb is being the third, fifth, seventh wheel in all of your friend outings, it's living vicariously through your friends who are in relationships but still going home alone. Yes, Barb is an amazing support for Nancy. She asks all the right questions, she's funny, witty, brilliant, kind, and loving. She tells Nancy how it is. She's the perfect side-kick.
Nancy is your typical teenage girl. Starting her first real relationship, she is giddy when she's invited to her crush's house for the first time. Nancy is blinded, naive, ignorant... you name it. She falls victim to peer pressure (shotgunning a beer, going up to Steve's bedroom, etc), she betrays her friend when she says "why don't you go ahead and go home [Barb]", and loses Barbara (probably) for good. She's your typical teenage girl.
But that's just it.
Nancy is a teenager. She has no idea who she is. She makes juvenile mistakes, her gaps in judgment make you cringe, and she makes decisions based on her infatuation with a boy. She's learning. I've also been a Nancy, we all have. She was a bad friend to Barb, but that doesn't mean she didn't learn and grow from the experience. Once her hormones and teen angst subsided, she realized how she truly hurt her friend when she ditched her to make out with Steve.
"But she was too late!" says everyone. Yeah, but that's reality. That is the beauty of Stranger Things. Sugar-coating is for candy. Not everyone gets a happy ending. Even though this point was made at the mercy of Barb, it still rings true. Nancy is heartbroken at the disappearance of her best friend (as are we), carrying the weight of the guilt that comes hand in hand with her childish actions.
By the end, Nancy's character has developed and changed so much that she's almost unrecognizable. Her formative blunders have matured into persistent determination.
She stands up to Steve and his idiotic friends. She sets out to find Barb and fix her mistakes. Notice how Barb didn't stand up to Nancy when she told her to leave, but Nancy puts her foot down and confronts the boy she's in love with.
Nancy is so wrongfully depicted as the hormonal teenager who ditches her BFF to have sex with a boy. Let's not forget that she sets traps, captures, and comes very close to killing the monster who took Barb. Or that she is really badass when she shoots a gun.
Nancy and Barb are both human. They are wrong at times, but that is life. Nancy may very well know that Steve wants to hook up, but she's testing the waters. Barb and Nancy are exploring their options and, while their paths may differ, it doesn't mean either one is wrong in their choices.
Liking one character doesn't mean we have to hate or bash the other. These characters were formed to be different, to play off of one another, and in the phrase "in a world full of Nancys, be a Barb" we are glorifying Barb and ragging on Nancy. We need to celebrate our differences instead of caging them.
There are Stranger Things than restrictive societal standards, and that is trying to fit into them.
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