It is difficult to say but in the last couple of months I have been struggling with myself and my faith in God. I have given others around me a chance to bring negativity into my life and it has influenced me in ways I couldn't ever think of. The worst, however, would be straying from my faith in the Lord. I have let myself down go down a path way away from God and it has caused me to reach one of the lowest points in my life. So the past couple weeks I did the main thing I could do, I opened my book of scriptures and prayed persistently.

Proverbs 4:14-16 states "Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. Avoid it, do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on. For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong; they are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble." I have come to realize that the people we surround ourselves with are the people who are gonna affect us in either the best or the worst way. They are the people who are gonna make us go down either a wicked path full of sin or a good path that influences you in ways to correct your sin.

Today was the point where I realized I needed God more than ever and I was so desperate for His love. I need to realize that the general population around me are going to support me in my new life and walk with Christ. I want to feel adored and wonderful consistently and above all else I need to feel the nearness of God in my life each and every minute. Today is the day I start making changes for the better. The first change I can make is starting every day with God. Devoting 15-30 minutes to Him for the endless amount of grace, love and forgiveness.

The second I begin getting individuals' feelings not make any difference, and what I consider myself is sufficient, If I say I'm lovely then I am. The third is leaving the negative individuals, activities and vibes behind me.

Philippians 3:13-14 states in simpler terms "focus on what's ahead of you, not what's behind you" The only way for me to start making changes is realizing when I do make a mistake it's ok. I'm human, but it's what I do after the mistake is what matters most.

Once I gain freedom from my past experiences I can start a new journey. The fourth and final thing I can change is small but is so important and that's my thinking. The longer us, individuals think about things the more likely we are to take action and do them. So with that being said more positive thoughts will come across my mind instead of negative thoughts. When negative thoughts decide to slip, I hope I stop and pray that everything is okay and I'm human.

I know this article is very short compared to my other ones I have written but it's personal. As I sat writing it all, I cried the entire time while I was writing this. God is so good and He never fails us and we fail Him on a daily basis but He has never gave up on me and I'm so thankful He has brung HIS beauty out of MY chaos. I wanted to share with everyone who is struggling with the same things I am. I hope to give some help and how to start healing. Maybe you're struggling with the same thing I am, but I want you to know you're worthy of His endless love. His arms are wide open for YOU when you're ready to run to Him.