If there's one thing I have learned while working in childcare, it's that every single day is unpredictable and amazing. Children make life messy and wonderful. They amaze you every day. Not only with what they say, but with how they prompt you to respond. Over the last two years, I have found myself saying and hearing things I had never imagined I would.
1. "No, you may not lick the floor."
2. "Put him/her down now!"
3. "Dirt is not a snack."
4. "I have said no to you more in the last 10 minutes than I have ever had to say in my life."
5. "Do not put your finger in anyone else's nose!"
6. *sigh* How many times do I have to tell you that you can't just pee anywhere?"
7. "Please tell me that's just dirt on your hands."
8. "You can't just pull your pants down anywhere you want!"
9. "How do you manage to lose your socks and not your shoes?"
10. "Please stop screaming Drake lyrics in the middle of lunch."
11. "Why are you petting me? I'm not a pet."
12. "Hey! Your sister is not a jungle gym!"
13. "Stop licking other kids!"
14. "Please tell me you did not just stick your hand in my lunch."
15. "Stop teaching the little kids about intestines!"
16. "I get that you think farts are funny, but I really am afraid you're going to mess yourself."
17. "Why are your pants on backwards? I thought you were just washing your hands..."
18. "No, pens can not be used as ear plugs!"
19. "You are not a goat, get that out of your mouth!"
20. "I don't even understand how you could think a swirly was a good idea."
21. "She said what?! Wait, no, don't repeat it!"
22. "Why is no one phased by time out anymore?!"