Since I was in the fourth grade, I have had a passion for learning about the Holocaust. It sounds like a pretty dark subject for a ten year old to be passionate about, but for me it seemed rational. I read Anne Frank's The Diary of a Young Girl and was instantly captivated by how similar this thirteen year old in 1942 was to me. She was strong willed, confident, outspoken, and opinionated. She had a sense of humor that often got her into trouble with her parents and her sister. As I grew up, I felt closer and closer to Anne Frank as I dove deeper and deeper into her story, reading her diary many more times. Every chance I got, I would write research papers about the Holocaust for classes, make presentations, and even tell my friends in depth accounts of what I had read or watched in documentaries. Parents in the neighborhood had questionable ideas about me - claiming I was into "dark things" they may not necessarily want their kids to hear about. But I didn't care - I just knew I had more mature interests because that's what my parents told me. My parents encouraged me to keep reading and keep studying, even when they may have thought it was strange. I studied German in highschool when everyone told me I should take Spanish. People questioned my interests because I wasn't Jewish. I idolized historic figures even when others looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.
When I got to college, I knew that I wanted to do more than just read books and watch documentaries about the Holocaust. I knew that I wanted to help write the historical narrative of the Holocaust and teach others about it so that they could find passion in it like I had. I entered Ball State my freshman year as a journalism major, mostly because I knew that I liked to write and that I was good at writing. I thought I wanted to write for an online newspaper or even work as a news anchor. Soon after checking out the extracurricular clubs in Journalism, I realised it was not for me. So I went to my advisor, I told them that my dream was to work in a museum. I knew I did not want to be a teacher, but I wanted to create things people could learn from, things that even later generations could gain insights from. So he persuaded me to become a public history major. I didn't really know what that meant at the time, but I did it. I just knew it would get me one step closer to setting my foot into the museum world.
Some of my family members were skeptical of my decision. They feared I would not make a decent living as a public historian - even though it was what I was passionate about. They feared that I was in too far over my head, that wanting to focus on the Holocaust would be too narrow and I would struggle to find a job. Even my professors questioned my intentions, but being my strong willed, confident self - I persisted. I pushed myself in ways I thought I could never be pushed; if a public history type of opportunity arose on campus, I was the first one to sign up. On top of my 15 hours of coursework each semester, I did a docent training program at the art museum on campus, volunteered at the Center for Peace and Conflict studies, and took on extra classes as an Undergraduate Teaching Assistant. I even studied German at the collegiate level, even when it was not necessary to earn my degree. On top of summer jobs, I worked for free as an unpaid intern part time at the Auburn Cord Duesenberg Museum, determined to someday have the experience and gumption to work at my favorite museum in the whole world - the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C.
I had visited USHMM for the first time in the eighth grade as part of a class Spring Break trip to Washington, D.C. It was my primary reason for going on the trip - I was dying to see their permanent exhibit. As I walked through those hallowed halls of remembrance for the first time, I felt as if God had led me to this place to show me my potential. As if he were telling me that this was the place where I belonged. The interns and volunteers in their burgundy blazers made me envious - I wanted to be them. The teacher who lead the trip herded us through the exhibit in only three hours and I felt so rushed - all I wanted to do was read every word on the walls, placards, captions, and maps in the exhibit and reflect upon the emotionally-charged artifacts and images that found their home in the American people's testament to the 11 million individuals murdered by the Nazis. As we were ushered out of the building for a second tour of the monuments, I was outraged. All I wanted to do was spend my entire day in this museum reflecting, reading, remembering, and bearing witness. That was the day I knew I wanted to dedicate my future career to the cause of Holocaust Remembrance. I visited the museum again with my family as a sophomore in high school, and was able to read every single word and watch every single video in that exhibit. I spent six hours in that permanent exhibit; those six hours strengthened my dream to work in that museum.
It was the summer before my junior year of college, I had almost completed all of my classes that allowed me to be eligible for an internship for university credit. I knew that the next summer I would be working at that internship and I knew exactly where I wanted that internship to be - The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington D.C. I wanted to go to Washington D.C. one more time before I applied. I struck up my courage and sent an email to the museum requesting a meeting with someone I could talk to about the internship program and they got back to me! I was so excited, I printed off my resume and other professional paperwork and set out to my favorite city in the entire world. Despite frustration with power outages, people being in and out of the office on different days, a lot of emails, and many angry tears shed on H Street, I got my meeting on the day we were to drive home. I will never forget the USHMM employee telling me that I had more experience in museum work than many graduate students looking for jobs and that if he could, he would hire me on the spot. I was eleighted! This was the moment I had waited for my entire life!
After we parted ways, and I headed back to school, I vowed to make myself even more vital to the institution I wanted to call home - so I kept getting more experience. I had a professor tell me I wouldn't get an internship at USHMM because I was an undergraduate and I wasn't in the Honors College and it just pushed me even harder to prove him wrong. I took classes I knew would be a pain in my side, but I kept with it for my resume - the Ball State University African American Alumni Oral History Project nearly killed me, but I stuck with it because I knew it would make me more valuable as a public historian. And it worked because on April 17, 2017, I was offered an internship in Museum Operations and Services at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C. Now I get to wear the burgundy blazer and I get to answer students questions and I get to bear witness every day for an entire summer.
My internship has also given me opportunities to share my knowledge of the Holocaust with young people. In two weeks I created and presented an hour long program and Holocaust statistics activity for over 100 fourth and fifth graders. I have never felt more like the Museum Educator I will become.
And I cannot wait to see what my future as Museum Educator will hold.
