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10 Things I Learned Working For A 'Racist Brummie' In Lombardy

Last summer, I moved to a small, beautiful Italian village in Lombardy, only to live with the most classist, racist and homophobic woman I'd ever met.

Amy Aed

Dec 13, 2020

National Writers Society

10 Things I Learned Working For A 'Racist Brummie' In Lombardy

Amy Aed

After spending an exhausting summer working on a goat farm in rural Spain, I then decided to hop on over to Italy with my girlfriend as a treat. I scored a utopian, non-paying job with a Brummie and her lovely Italian husband in their quaint little country house, excited to see what the rest of the summer would have to offer working for them.

As it happens, she was the worst person I had ever met.

Even reflecting back on my time with her, my fight or flight instinct is triggered. I started writing down a list of the horrendous things that she did to bring down the people around her so that I could process my thoughts in the form of an article, but even looking at my notes now, I have over 900 words of bullet points that cannot be woven into complete sentences, and as such, shall forever remain living in my PTSD-filled head, rent free.

Not only did she spend her time with us belittling Wales, homosexuality, the working class, disabled people, foreign people, the work we did and all of the lovely Italians around her, but she didn't acknowledge for a single second how horrendous all of this made her.

I had never met anybody so triggering before, and I pray that I never do again.

Thankfully, my girlfriend and I have since left the house and are settled back in Wales, where we did some small Googling on her and realized that everyone else finds her awful, too. So, you win some, you lose some, I guess.

Personally, I learnt a lot about myself working for her. It happened to be as educational as it was traumatizing, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

1. I don't need to try and prove my own worth to people who make it their full-time profession to belittle me and my culture.

2. I now know how to mask pure, seething hatred when anything I say could get me thrown out into the middle of nowhere.*

3. Patience!! (Especially when someone spends three hours demoting your sexuality and heritage)

4. I can take refuge in the fact that I will never be that type of person.

5. I can add anything at all to Welsh Cakes, and they will always taste good.

6. How to dig a banging trench and work under unbearable conditions

7. That actually I am SUCH a tolerant person

8. The importance of reflection in order to process traumatic events

9. How to stand up for myself in situations where before I would absolutely have wavered

10. That sometimes, people deserve to have rotting bananas stuffed behind their wardrobes.

And so, I guess it wasn't all bad, after all.

*Which happened, in the end.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

10 Things I Learned Working For A 'Racist Brummie' In Lombardy

Last summer, I moved to a small, beautiful Italian village in Lombardy, only to live with the most classist, racist and homophobic woman I'd ever met.

1. I don't need to try and prove my own worth to people who make it their full-time profession to belittle me and my culture.

2. I now know how to mask pure, seething hatred when anything I say could get me thrown out into the middle of nowhere.*

3. Patience!! (Especially when someone spends three hours demoting your sexuality and heritage)

4. I can take refuge in the fact that I will never be that type of person.

5. I can add anything at all to Welsh Cakes, and they will always taste good.

6. How to dig a banging trench and work under unbearable conditions

7. That actually I am SUCH a tolerant person

8. The importance of reflection in order to process traumatic events

9. How to stand up for myself in situations where before I would absolutely have wavered

10. That sometimes, people deserve to have rotting bananas stuffed behind their wardrobes.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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