Working at a winery while underage is like being a kid in a candy shop -- if all of the candy were off limits and I had to sell it to other people.
Nonetheless, I love my job and I view my boss as a saint. It's a learning experience and I'm so fortunate to work with such great people. I have a blast at work whether it's dealing with a tipsy customer after a wine tasting or simply stocking (or drooling over) pretty bottles with my coworkers. Here are a few of the best, and the worst, aspects to working at a winery.
1. Customers always say "You look too young to work here!"
Too young to work? No. Too young to drink? Unfortunately, yes. Please don't remind me, and please don't doubt my ability to recommend a killer chardonnay.
2. I literally do not know the difference between white zinfandel and rosé.
They're both pink.
3. "You're not twenty one yet, but you still drink ... right?"
Do you think the young, over-worked college kid genuinely considering a "work hard, play hard" tattoo lives her life without the sweet relief of alcohol on weekends? I'll let you think about that for a second.
4. When customers are sassy, I recommend wines that they probably didn't want.
You wanted a dry Riesling? You're not getting a dry Riesling because your personality is already dry enough. Also, if you own a yacht and pompously mention it every time you see me, I'll judge you for browsing the discount rack.
5. My employers think my customer service personality is authentic.
Little do they know that it's all a facade and that in reality, I'm a judgmental *sshole. I wish I was truly as kind as I appeared at work.
6. I'm familiar with roughly 0.02 percent of the inventory's flavor profiles, so I come up with most of my descriptions on the spot.
If it's in a shimmery bottle and the font is laced in glitter, it's probably on the sweeter end, right? You get notes of pear and apple because that sounds yummy doesn't it?
7. "What's your go-to wine?"
Um, the wine with the highest alcohol content and lowest price. But not Arbor Mist. And not straight from the bottle. That's an Arbor Mist(ake).
8. "Can you recommend me a rich, bold Spanish red with old world flavors and a 92 point rating for less than $20?"
Probably not. But this wine here is great and costs 15 smackaroos.
9. "What pairs well with this Sauvignon Blanc?"
Wait, you actually eat food with your wine and you don't just drink it while browsing the Huffington Post? I didn't know you were so fancy! Here, try this cheese!
10. What kinds of grapes are used in this Vinho Verde?
What I say: Most vinho verdes we have are too sweet, but that wine is a vintage import from Portugal. The grapes are picked early in the season, so you get an acidic, dry taste with notes of unripe strawberries! It's a perfectly crisp summer wine.
What I think: I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and I wish I knew or cared more about the grapes that fermented into that beautiful beverage I wish I could chug right now.
