Never in a million years would I have thought how unhealthy and mentally deteriorating it was to work at a gym. I didn't even notice until I started to realize how much better I feel about myself now than the way I was viewing myself before.
Working at a gym, I always felt a lack of confidence in my body. My coworkers were always focused on how they looked, kept up a workout routine, and even made fun of people who walked in if they were a little overweight. Yes, they did that. And each time it happened, I would feel sick to my stomach that I was around people that really judged everyone they came into contact with.
I don't look in the mirror anymore and obsess over my face not being as skinny as I would imagine it to be. It was seriously so bad that I would really think I looked 40 pounds overweight because of all the negative things I would hear co-workers say about people who would come in looking to buy a membership.
I don't think I really cared about my appearance when I started working there, but by the end, I became embarrassed to even eat a granola bar or any snack because I knew they'd criticize the ingredients. I didn't have as many photos taken of me because I didn't feel good enough for it. It even got to the point where I was coming up with excuses as to why I missed a workout because they'd ask me every time if I had done a workout that day. Who the hell cares? I know it's important to take care of your body, but once it gets to the point where you obsess over it and others' lifestyles, then you are officially crazy in my eyes.
There were positives (very few) from working there. I learned more about taking care of myself and that working out doesn't have to be a burden. I also learned that people who obsess over the physical things are never happy. Boy, I have never heard people talk so much about themselves or complain over people.
I'm thankful I'm out of there. I'm thankful for my body and the way I was designed. It takes too much effort to hate parts of yourself because you compare yourself to a standard. I'm not perfect. I'm not always appreciative of myself or what I'm capable of, but I'm better off now because of the two years I spent at that gym. I'm seeing myself in a new light and I'm grateful for that.
