She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25
As I stared at my blank canvas with graphite pencils, erasers, and ideas scattered alongside the table and floating around in my mind, I began to feel the chill of a fever beginning. The burden of wondering if my body was about to be the only soldier in the battle for my health had begun. The days that followed were filled with anxiety about my future and that of my family. I would walk past my empty canvas and I began to see my idea develop as if it was trying to remind me of all that was healthy, beautiful, and positive. I began to think of my past and some of the things that are dear to me as well as a positive outlook for the future of the world as a whole during this sad time we are in. It became a source of positive energy for me to contemplate how to accomplish these feelings through my art.
I decided for my self-portrait to show a look of determination and resolve as to reflect the self-discipline we will all need to succeed in the days ahead. I gave myself an expression of quiet joy because I don't know exactly what tomorrow is going to look like, but I do know that I can find reasons to rejoice in it. This serves as a reminder to me that our joy...my joy...can only truly be found through a relationship with Christ.
I pondered how to show on paper what being clothed in strength and dignity looks like for me. The Irish linen pieces are from my mother's wedding dress materials that my grandmother lovingly used to make a bride's dreams come true. I see these pieces and am reminded of the love, strength, and courage the women above me in the family line have past down to me through their actions and what positive role models they are and have been.
Nature also had to "clothe" me in my portrait. I am very drawn to God's handiwork of the beautiful outside world. Nature is a part of who I am. I am always trying to capture it through my camera lens and I still go on nature scavenger hunts. I hope I never outgrow the child-like wonder I still have when I find that perfect specimen to bring home and place in a prominent place on a shelf. My chosen nature pieces all are symbolic of rich happiness in my life. The hawk feather is a reminder of my grandfather. The bluebird is a reminder that "everything is all right." The moon symbolizes the many times my mom and I have loved each other there and back again. The Baby's Breath and Rose symbolize the love that my mother and I shared when I was a little girl sitting in her lap looking at their beauty and reciting their names like poetry...Baby's Breath, Rose. Baby's Breath, Rose. These are symbolic but also remind me of such happy locations such as my grandparents' yard with the bluebird house and rose bush. I have so many memories of taking pictures of the moon in Maryland, Mississippi, and Texas. It is a reminder to me that even though I have lived in three different states so many things stay the same, such as our family memories and the moon.
As I completed this portrait I regained my health and positive perspective. So I titled it "A Work of Heart." It was a part of my healing journey and I am whole once again. I can laugh.
Hanna Bewley
