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Words of the Past

A look back into the storm.

Gina Panarello

Oct 18, 2016

Marblehead, Massachussetts

Gina Panarello

We've all been through those times of heartache, love, and times when we confused lust for love. I dug up some words from my past. This is some of what exists inside of me.

YOUR STORM-
June 26, 2013

Your storm, your voice
bled through my veins like poison.
Infection spread and it was too late.
Hypnotized by the idea of you..
Deluded by the lies..
Anything to make me smile.. Anytime.

A natural laugh,
A shoulder to cry on.
A genuine look in your eye
it all went to shit.

Better yet, did it ever exist?

I sit alone,
mind racing,
I’m alone in my mind
taking a breath from time to time.

Did it ever exist?
Tormented by this.

Blinded with a hazy mind,
dizzy with your words-
Orbiting my head.
I can’t quit you now-
Your storm.

Your storm comes.
Rips with a fictitious loyalty.
The night falls,
your lips on someone else.

Morning arises,
You step faithlessly into another exhausting day.
Wheezing the corrupt words your kind eyes promise.

An elusive predator to the opposite sex
pitching.. transcending ...
And your storm
quickly became my biggest obstacle.
Hurdles jacked so high,
a weak girl, left with nothing but to comply.

Your storm..

MINE
No Date Recorded.

Finally found someone worth the heartache-

Found someone to hold my head when I cry for you.

I finally found someone who takes my breath away,

And catches me on my way down.

A bond that seems to grow deeper.. As you grow further away.

Which is okay with me, better for us.

A love I once lust for-

A love I once couldn’t live without

A friend I found in you; a companion ….till it all turned around

A sick emotion churns in my stomach at the thought of your playful face-

A flash back to all those empty promises …. Those compromising days.

I picture you now as your mirage floats through my mind

And I stand strong now as the woman you’ll grow to despise.

I found a person who brings me something to put a simple smile on my face- Thats all

When it was like pulling teeth Just to get you to call

What am I fighting for? Lies and empty promises.. What am I fighting for?

A hopeless place that I found in just the right time- spent years fighting, losing

Today I take back whats mine

No more compromising days for you and I.

COFFEE AND STRAWBERRIES
April 15, 2015

She was light on her feet,
heaviest heart I’d ever seen..
Her breath smelled of coffee and strawberries-
I hope she never leaves..
I’ll chase her in the fog,
waves crashing beneath..
I’ll follow wherever she wants,
I’ll let her take me to my knees.
She’s everything I’ve ever wanted..
With her plaid shirt, leather coat,
she exactly what I’d dreamed..
Blindsided by what I thought..
She’s exactly what I need.

2 DIFFERENT MEN

February 4, 2007 4:09am

2 different men
in 2 different cities
different jobs
different personalities
different laughs
and the way they wash their sheets
different outlooks on life
and the way they dream
2 different men
with different colored eyes
different colored skin
But they both look alright
2 different men
with different memories in their head
2 different men..
But I exist
in both their beds.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Words of the Past

A look back into the storm.

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#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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