As a woman of modern times, I’m a big proponent of feminism, positivity and empowerment – especially for women and girls. I have to be. I feel that is what we need and that’s how I choose to approach things. Yes, I am a sarcastic, foul-mouthed smart ass a lot of the time, but I’m also very sensitive and extremely empathetic.

I see a lot of negativity and disrespect on social media amongst women. It’s very disheartening. Why are we doing this? What’s it accomplishing?

It accomplishes nothing, but why we do this is complex with many layers.

We’ve turned into a society that sensationalizes everything. Reality television is our guide on how to live our lives. We give the media, celebrities and professional athletes the power to tell us what is good, interesting or important. Our culture, especially with us being American, requires instant gratification. Now, we’re experiencing the effects of that lifestyle.

Everyone has a voice. Everyone has a desire to be heard and make an impact. Each one of us is our own “unique” entity and brand now, or so our entitlement makes us think. With growing our brand, we tend to let our sometimes outrageous opinions be delivered as truths, whether we truly believe them or not. George Costanza said it best, “it’s not a lie if you believe it.” In other words, make something up, be emphatic and own that shit.

We’ve become experts on what everyone else should be doing and allowing in their lives. Obviously, we should tell these people when they’re wrong... in the most dramatic or sensational manner possible. Shocking approaches get more notice, right? If no one likes it, fuck them and their feelings. Don’t they know you’re trying to nurture your brand and grow your impact? Well, I don’t think some of you realize that your social media reach is far too great for you to be as ignorant as you’re presenting yourself.

In our desire to make an impact and be heard, we are forgetting that words matter. Words really matter. We are all a bunch of keyboard gangsters with loaded guns. Sometimes the people holding the loaded guns don’t understand the power they wield. When we’re behind that keyboard, whether it’s good or bad, right or wrong we don’t understand the impact our words are going to carry. We’re either strategic with our aim or hitting people with stray bullets. Either target is harmful.

Think about your impact and the people you reach. We live in the days of everything being viral. One misstep and you’re famous for something. Wouldn’t you rather that be for something positive than for being a dick? Before social media, one could live a relatively obscure life. Our impact was more grassroots. Today, our every move is tracked. My smart-ass phone likes to strong arm me and tell business, “Heather, I see you’re at Starbucks, again this week. Let me check you in so you can be seen and people can know you like love overpriced coffee.” I can check in and talk up my delightful baristas (hey Tyler and Crystal!) and influence people’s decision to visit or not visit that shop. I don’t allow my phone to make those moves, but do you see how quick that can happen?

On that same note, this visibility highlights anything negative we do or say about a person or situation. As a woman, I cannot allow myself to take part in downing another woman’s choices. I’m never going to slut shame anyone; that’s not my place (or yours, by the way). I will not discuss a woman’s physical appearance. There will always be negativity directed towards us from men; we can’t escape that. How can we change our way of thinking and bring ourselves together? You’d think the very least we could do is be united. What’s that hurt? I don’t know the answers, I just know what I do and will continue to do. I’m going to use my influence in a positive manner and I encourage you to do the same. We are a lot more powerful than we realize.