waiting for the right time
my fingers trace invisible lines
I write the words I left unsaid
they hang in the air like ghosts
my hand passes through
an empty apology
stealing a glance at the clock
I choke on words
fish them out of my throat
lay them out on the table for you to see
writing words I want to keep
words I want to remember
across the skin of my hands
running out of room
I move to my arm
only so many words to explain
my feelings
I rearrange the letters on the table
and you smile
as the words become harder
to find, more painful
They begin to come out covered in blood
gagging, I try to keep
them within my body
avoiding the mess
I swallow.