Everyday I wonder why you chose me. I wonder what makes your heart think I'm worth it. I wonder if you truly mean the words you say. I wonder why it took you so long to realize I'm the one who'd always love you despite the arguments, the accusations, the distrust. Thinking of you makes my heart putter like a car running out of gas. Imagining your hands against mine makes me hold my breath afraid you will let go. Hearing your voice sends my head in a spin inquiring the true meaning of the words you speak. You once spoke promises of a future with me as if it had been set into stone already, however, we changed. We grew up, we learned that the real world is a bitch, and we learned our souls were not compatible. Losing you was like holding the world in the palms of my hand, and watching it disintegrate into dust in slow motion. I always rolled my eyes at the girls who said their hearts broke into a million pieces. I never had someone in my life that I had told my secrets to. I never spoke of the hatred I had for myself to anyone but you. I never let anyone chisel at the walls  around my heart, let alone tear them down. I refused to let anyone see me as weak, or vulnerable. Just you. You captured my heart, and when you left, I stopped rolling my eyes. I had felt their pain, only I believe the other girls did me a disservice. They had lied, as it was much worse than a million pieces. My heart first caught fire, a rage that was unbearable. It burned into a black dust, and was smushed into the dirt with the bottom of your own shoe, leaving me completely destroyed. I cried for hours, which turned to days, then weeks... but you came back. You realized I was what was best for you, and you came back. I took you back, exhilarated at the fact you had come home to me. You spoke the same words you laid into my brain when we first fell in love, and nothing bad could ever happen again, nor would it; but that's where the story hurts the worst. I was stupid in love with you, and when you left again, I was left in the same position I was before. But not only did this happen once. Nor twice. You left me 3 separate times... Three times you questioned your love for me. Three times you questioned the words you had once spoke in confidence. Three times you left me starring at the black dust shoved into the Earth. Three times I remembered the days we shared. You took me to all the secret spots by the lake, and we'd splash around and discuss our life goals. All the inappropriate jokes we made, and our sinful actions as your mother might call them. The time you attempted at making my dream date become a reality, and you were so embarrassed, yet you left me speechless at your gesture. All our fast food runs, then listening to me complain I was getting fat. We may have only been truly together a short time over the span of our relationship, yet it never made me question you were the one I wanted to be with. In these three times however, I learned the most about life. I learned words mean nothing. I learned promises are not meant to be kept, but to be broken. I learned trust is a silly word that just solidifies the broken promises, which are words that mean nothing. I learned. Yet here we are again. You couldn't forget about me, nor could I. We couldn't forget the memories we made, the jokes we shared, and the words we spoke. When we were together, everything in the world made sense, neither of us can deny that. We never fought. We never questioned each others motives. We lived, and loved harder. We were meant to be together... maybe that's why we fight so much when we are apart? Our souls no longer know about being independent, not since the day we met. We need each other. We taught each other the biggest life lessons. But why now? Why should we continue to fight to be with each other? After all these years, no matter what has happened, we managed to find our way back to each other. Could it be because we are meant to be together forever? Or do we need to learn more life lessons? Or are we together to make bridges to our true partner in life? Only God knows why. But for now, all I can ask you is why did you choose me?
