Sometimes you put yourself out there

But where is 'there'?

It always seems to be this mystical place

A place where people decide to try again

And when they try they magically find...

Someone.

Someone who makes them feel alive again

But what if I get out there

And what if I don't find that person

That person who brings me to life

What if I just wander

Searching

For something

For someone

And what if the person that left me behind

Or the person I left behind

Was the only one

The only one who in this moment

Could make me feel alive again

Could take me from this deserted abyss

And the feeling of a bomb

A bomb that seems to work in reverse

And sucks the life out of me.

Like the way gas sucks the air out of the room

You suck the air from my lungs

And with every bated breath

I check my phone screen

And stare at a blank wallpaper

Missing the sense of you

And maybe one day I'll breathe again

And maybe one day you'll text back

Maybe.

One day.

Someday.

"Read 3:59 a.m."