One of the scariest things a diehard Disney fan can learn about is the replacement of an old ride with a new one. Particularly if the new one is centered around everyone’s favorite sisters and their singing snowman friend that seem to be everywhere these days. I started wishing to the Blue Fairy as soon as Frozen Ever After was announced back in 2014, hoping the ride wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Unfortunately, based on first-hand account from my mom, who was in Disney World this week (and didn’t take me!), as well as picture and video documentation of the ride, I have come to the conclusion that, yes, the ride is everything I feared; shallow, unoriginal, and dull.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, Frozen Ever After is the boat ride that replaced Maelstrom in the Norway Pavilion. While some aspects of the ride hit the mark, many others seemed to fall very flat, and frankly were even inappropriate.

What I Liked:

It’s cute. Which is to say if you’re looking to wait two hours so you can see the characters and sing the songs, then this is the ride for you. Unfortunately, a lot of guests only look for this, so here, I suppose, Disney was successful.

The animatronics and other special effects were executed (almost) perfectly. And I say almost because nothing can ever be exact or not need room for improvement. Disney has come a long way from the robotic figures that could do little more than turn from side to side, blink, and open and close their mouths. From what I saw and from what my mom told me, the characters in the ride were very true to their computer animated selves, and I always love seeing Disney utilize all their technology to really put guests in the experience.

I love that it’s in the style of the old dark rides. As soon as I saw the footage, I immediately thought of older rides like “Snow White’s Scary Adventure,” “Mr.Toad’s Wild Ride,” and “Peter Pan’s’ Flight.” It was a nice dose of nostalgia on such a modern attraction.

The artwork throughout was beautifully done. Disney did it again; you can see their attention to detail in all the little touches they put throughout the ride, such as the sauna in the queue. Plus, the last scene of Anna, Elsa, and Olaf standing outside a cottage surrounded by flowers is now among my favorite of the Frozen artwork.

What I Disliked:

The Dialogue. The entirety of the ride was the same characters singing the same songs that we’ve been hearing since the movie came out, besides some words that were changed here and there. My favorite cringe-worthy line? “For the first time in forever we get to share this frozen fun.”

I was a little bummed that they chose to close the ride off completely. In Maelstrom, there was an opening to the outside at the end of the ride, right at the point where the boat turns back around after being spun by the three-headed troll. It was always fun to walk into the Norway Pavilion and look up and see a big Viking boat sitting at the top of the falls. I will miss that.

Which leads me to this: Why does the boat spin around in Frozen Ever After? In Maelstrom it made sense, there were trolls and they were angry that you had intruded on their territory. I understand why they kept the track the same, but maybe they needed to give guests some reason for why they were traveling backwards or take the spin out.

The other aspect of the ride I was fairly disappointed in was the lack of storytelling. Disney LOVES stories, and they usually make a point of immersing a guest in both the setting and the plot. This story concept is present in almost all of their rides. Disney usually takes us through a story just as if they were doing a movie; they introduce the characters, introduce the conflict, conflict is resolved, ride is over. A ride is so much more memorable when the guest has a little bit of tension that is relieved at the resolution at the end of the ride. For example, think of Splash Mountain. We meet Briar Rabbit as he sets out for adventure and runs away from the crafty fox and his bumbling bear sidekick. All is well until, oh no! Briar Rabbit is captured. Now the ride begins to get more intense, the vultures sit above and warn guests of the danger as they climb the final mountain. Then comes the literal climax; Briar Rabbit is about to be put in the stew until, Splash! He tricks the fox into throwing him the briar patch. All is well, the rides over, and guests are wet and humming “Zip-a-dee-do-da” on their way out. Even rides like Space Mountain have a story: you are the main character about to embark on a turbulent space adventure. The Frozen Ever After ride was lacking in any kind of story besides “We’re going to see Elsa’s palace!” which sadly made the ride seem very one dimensional.

And My Biggest Complaint….

Frozen Ever After does not belong in the Norway Pavilion.

The purpose of the World Showcase in EPCOT is to be representative of the world community (albeit sometimes a very stereotyped version of that community, but that’s something I won’t get into right now). World Showcase was supposed to be somewhere you could go and experience little bits of culture from places you may not ever be able to go. You can try Moroccan cuisine, learn about the ancient Mayans, speak to someone who is from China, shop around Italy and France, all without leaving Florida. It’s such a fun experience and an amazing testament to world unity to have all these different cultures sharing the same space.

And I’m sorry to all of you that had dreams of belting out “Let It Go” in the land of the Vikings, but Frozen is not Norwegian. It is not representative of Norwegian culture or modern Norway and does not belong in that pavilion. While the setting is based off Norway, and Disney artists did an amazing job capturing the beautiful Norwegian landscape, Arendelle is not a real place. Even “The Snow Queen,” from which Frozen is very loosely based, was written by a Danish author, not Norwegian.

“But wait!” you may cry. “Disney has put their characters into other pavilions as well!” You would be right. Topiaries of Peter Pan and Captain Hook can been seen in the U.K., you can meet Mulan in the China Pavilion, and Ratatouille merchandise dots the stores in France. In Mexico, there is even a boat ride featuring The Three Caballeros. So what’s the difference? Let’s focus on the two boat rides. In “The Grand Fiesta Tour Starring The Three Caballeros,” Jose Carioca and Panchito Pistoles need to find Donald before their big show in Mexico City that night and, in doing so, they travel all over Mexico. In “Frozen Ever After,” guests visit Elsa up in her ice palace. Is the difference obvious now? While they both feature Disney characters, the ride in Mexico still features real places in Mexico while in the Frozen ride, guests spend the entirety of the time trapped in a fictional country. Maybe if Anna and Elsa led guests through the fjords of Geiranger or conversed with Olaf II of Norway I may have been a little more accepting.

So where should have Disney put the ride? FantasyLand would have been the best choice, as that’s where most of their fairytale type attractions end up. It would have been a great addition to FantasyLand as well as a good way to alleviate some of the lines that always seem to be clogging up the big attractions in that area, such as Snow White’s Mine Train and Space Mountain. And let’s say that they absolutely had to build in EPCOT; there is so much space in that area (as well as a large conference building that stands empty most of the year), that it should have been relatively simple to move the ride somewhere else. In addition to this, had the imagineers behind the Frozen Ride been given a blank slate, maybe they could have created a much more dynamic and creative ride.

In conclusion....

I was very disappointed with the ride’s lack of vision or originality, as well as upset with the choice of location. While I’m not Norwegian, I absolutely love Norway. I’ve only been there twice, but it has quickly become one of my favorite places on earth. I love the old myths, the abundant waterfalls, the friendly people, and the little farms you can see perched high up in the mountains. It makes me so sad to see the Norway Pavilion become an icon of singing snowmen and a fictional kingdom instead of a celebration of the beautiful country that it is.

Now you might say, “Aren’t you being a little dramatic? It’s just a ride for kids. Can’t you just… Let it go?” All bad Frozen puns aside, I think this issue goes a little deeper than “it’s just a kid’s ride.” Disney has never been about that. The whole reason Walt Disney built the Land, and later on the World, was to create an area that both adults and children could enjoy together. Disney World supposed to be about innovation, imagination, and enrichment. The Frozen ride captures none of that; it’s sole purpose is to bring in crowds. Is this a necessary component? Yes. After all, Disney is a large corporation, and they need the crowds to stay viable. However, I believe they have the resources and the fan base to be so much more than that, to rise above cheap business tactics and rely on their incredible artists and their unmatched ability to tell stories that capture both children’s and adult’s imaginations. So am I being a little dramatic? Maybe. But hey, some things are worth melting for.