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IN THE DARKNESS

I wonder if I still exist.

Natasha VanDerLinden

Mar 27, 2017

Carroll University

weknowyourdreams.com

In the darkness

I wonder if I still exist

Because my fears come to life

They blind me

They suffocate me

They spread through every fiber

They bury deep into my very soul

And I wonder if I still exist

The loneliness that clenches my heart

Never leaves

Because When the light shines again

So must the darkness eventually

I hear my own thoughts

Raining down on me

Saying

Be stronger

Be better

Don't cry

Don't let the fear show

Even as my fears drown me

And I wonder if I still exist

And when I wake

I put on a perfect face

I smile

I laugh

And on the inside

I weep

I hide

I fall

I fade

Night by night

And I wonder if I still exist

Do they see?

Do they listen?

Do they know?

I wonder

If the darkness only ever knows

My fears

How weak I am becoming

How much I suffer

Then I wonder

If I still exist

And will they see

One day

When I crack

Will they finally know

How the darkness overpowered me

Will they finally wonder

How hard I tried to still exist

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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IN THE DARKNESS

I wonder if I still exist.

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This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

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