First off, I don’t know you and probably never will unless your name just so happens to come up in conversation one day. I’d like you to know that I will never dislike you. I will never hate that you were once with the person I marry. You will be one of the reasons I find the man of my dreams and I actually can’t thank you enough.

You see, I haven’t found my husband yet. I’m just a 22-year old woman in college trying to figure everything out. And here I am writing a letter to the women my husband has dated, is dating, or will date before we even meet. It may sound very silly but it’s something I think about often. Just who are the women molding the man who will one day be my husband?

This leads me on to the purpose of this letter. In case you are the woman who will date my husband, I want you to take some advice from me so that you can prepare him to be a husband one day, even if he’s not your husband. I’m not asking you to do all of the work for me; don’t take this the wrong way. But I don’t want him to have given up by the time he meets me because the women in his life have been the opposite of what women should be. Because if you think about it, there’s a woman out there dating your husband as well. Feel free to pass this letter on to her.

My first piece of advice is to treat him with the most respect you can manage. You don’t have to wait on him hand and foot. Just treat him as an equal and he will respect you as well. Don’t see yourself as someone better than he or someone less. Don’t allow him to gather the wrong perspective of women. One day, I want that man to be my partner in crime and in every aspect of my life.

Don’t defy his trust and don’t let him defy yours. Be there for him and love him. Yes, I said to love him. If you don’t, how will he know that he can be loved and is worthy of having something real? I don’t want him to think love doesn’t exist for him. In return, I want him to love you and to know how to love properly. Most people fall in and out of love over and over. If that is the case with you and him, make it worth while and leave him with hope of finding love once more.

Teach him to have adventures. I don’t care if you go to the mountains or wander into your backyard. Show him the world and allow him to imagine greater things than himself. Adventure feeds the soul and helps it grow wise beyond its years. Do that for him. You see, these things will not only help him grow as a man with experience but it will help you become a woman who doesn’t compare to other women.

If I could ask you to be one thing, that is for you to be a Godly woman. I’m sure you’re busy and you’ll miss some church services and you won’t find the time to read the Bible every day. But I want you to help him love God. You can’t force him to do it and you shouldn’t try. I just pray that he will want to love God as much as he loves you. There is nothing greater than a relationship grounded in God.

I want to say I’m sorry that you experienced or will experience a loss with my husband but I want to thank you for letting him go. You and I will both be the last in a man’s journey and I hope that all of the stops mine has made have made him a man worthy of being God’s choice for my life. This letter is advice to fill each person in your life with the love and skills to love someone new if they have to. Be the light of that path.