From a young age, girls are reprimanded for being "bossy" while boys are praised for their "leadership abilities". The leadership double standard is established early on and demonizes women for establishing themselves as outspoken leaders. Despite being less encouraged to do so, women, especially within the past decade, are taking on more leadership positions and we're doing what we've known we were capable of all along: we're thriving.
I've held numerous leadership positions throughout college and high school, from unspoken group-project leader to positions in student government, and I credit a large portion of my success in these positions to the strong women in my life who have, knowingly or not, imparted valuable lessons about leadership to me from a young age. These lessons came from family members, both blood-related and espoused, especially my mother and grandmother, an infinite amount of Cool Girl Mentors, both in my life and in the media, professors, random strangers and bad ass alums from the women's college I attend.
Although I consider myself to be an effective leader, I often forget the lessons that I've learned from the strong women leaders in my life, so here's a bit of a reminder, for myself and for you:
1. Don't apologize for being authoritative or speaking your mind.
This is probably one of the most important lessons, as it goes against everything women are socialized and expected to be: quiet, apologetic and occupying very little space. When you apologize for speaking your mind or for exercising your agency and authority, you allow people to take you less seriously. One of the largest challenges of leadership is to get people to treat you like a leader, there's no use in making it harder for yourself by giving them reason to doubt you. As women, it's vital that we demand that our ideas and ourselves are taken seriously.
2. You don't need an official position to be a leader.
So many people make the mistake of confusing a title with leadership. I've had friends consider not applying for positions because they doubted their leadership abilities since they had never held a title. Leadership is evident in so many other avenues, from taking charge in a group project, speaking an unpopular opinion during a class debate or through holding yourself and others accountable.
3. It's okay to ask for help.
Sometimes we have the tendency as leaders to overwhelm ourselves, believing that it's our job to be on top of and responsible for everything. Taking on too much will only diminish the quality of your work and a true leader knows when to take a break and has the skills to delegate responsibilities to others.
4. Take pride in yourself and your work.
So many women are concerned that if they take pride in their work, they'll be seen as conceited, arrogant or entitled. This exhausting focus on staying humble allows ourselves and other people to underestimate us. There's a difference between being proud of yourself and gloating.
5. Treat everyone with respect.
While this tip has definitely been drilled into you since childhood and you probably roll your eyes overtime you see something reminiscent of the "Golden Rule" poster that was almost certainly plastered throughout your elementary school classrooms, this is still worth saying. You never know who you're going to come into contact with later in life at say, a job interview.
6. Take no shit.
On the flip side of that, sometimes people need to be put in their place. In an ideal world, you wouldn't have to be a harsh leader ever. But people will try to take advantage of you, and this will only continue if you allow them to do it. In my experience, most people's behavior changes after you've put them in their place once and they realize you won't accept anything less than respect.
7. Give people positive feedback.
When I've lead any sort of group or team, I always make sure to give positive feedback, especially to those who were struggling with something in the beginning.This is a perfect way to balance out your "take no shit" attitude as it will let people know that you care about and are invested in them.
8. Encourage other women.
One thing I've noticed about women in leadership is that they often don't go for positions in leadership until someone tells them they should. It's not necessarily because we don't think we would be good at it, but sometimes it just doesn't occur to us that it's something we would even be interested in. I wouldn't have gone after two of the current positions I hold if I hadn't been encouraged to by friends, simply because the thought never occurred to me. Now, I make sure to do the same with my friends and always recommend they go for something I think they would do well at, even if they haven't (but especially if they have), expressed interest.
