That time of the month

Ya know? When the great flood cometh. Basically, our uterus throws a hissy fit once a month when she finds out that we're not pregnant. Which means we get to endure cramps, bloating, random crying spells whenever we see a puppy and then we bleed for a full week and we have to drop money in order to prevent making a mess of it. It sounds gross but in reality, it's metal AF.

Going out in tiny skirts in the middle of January

Ladies, we've all been there. You and your gals want to go hit the clubs but you are not going to sacrifice your God-given beauty for WARMTH and COMFORT because of the WEATHER. No. You would rather freeze than have Jimmy from Sigma Apple Pie see you not looking like a bombshell. You will wear that mini skirt and crop top and wait 30 minutes in the club line and you will look HOT while you're shivering. Yeah, you swear you're going to start dressing more practical but we all know that's a fat lie. We are sexy warriors, gosh darn it. Men could NEVER do that.

Making friends in the club bathroom

This is the 21st century where girls support girls. Your squad rolls up into the bathroom to run into another squad and instead of catfights, it's a battle of who can hype each other up the most. I've seen girls passing a bottle that they smuggled in down the line because the club drinks are expensive and other girls making sure that a complete stranger looks her best so she can show Jimmy exactly what he's missing out on. Truly #GirlPower

Reading social cues, like, REALLY well

Creepy guy trying to dance with your gal pal and she's not into it? Time for the girl twirl! (The girl twirl is when one girl twirls the girl who's being hit on away from the weirdo. It looks natural and it's 99.9% effective.) Girls come wired with being able to read and analyze pretty much any kind of social setting or interaction and know whether it's a safe and cool or raising red flags and then being able to act accordingly. Now THAT'S talent.

Being able to convince yourself to buy something even if you never end up using it or wearing it

This is more of a curse, actually…

Having the stalking skills of an FBI agent

You can find out your ex-boyfriend's new girl's stepbrother's Instagram, Facebook, location, blood type, dog's name, and entire history in probably two minutes or less. Do not ever underestimate a girl's stalking skills no matter who old they are. My roommate's mom was able to find a crush's dad and his profession in literally 40 seconds. Like the FBI would be way more efficient if they just hired a team of females with iPhones.