TRIGGER WARNING This article or section, or pages it links to, contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors. National Sexual Assult Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

April is sexual assault awareness month.

Personally, I have been affected by sexual assault, as well as 54% of people between the age of 18 and 34. In fact, one in every six women has been affected by sexual assault in her life. 82% of juvenile rape victims being female.

Women who are college students are three times more likely to experience sexual assault in comparison to those who are not a college student. I wanted to know more about the violent crimes committed against the women I walk the halls with.

I asked seven women about their sexual assault stories and this is what they have to say:

1. “I woke up in a pool of blood.”

I was attending a party in the spring of my sophomore year of high school and it was the first "big" party I had ever been to. The last thing I remember is drinking a few sips of the punch and then waking up several hours later in a room with no pants.

I was laying in a pool of blood. That was how my virginity was taken.

I was scared to tell anyone, so I didn't. I went on with my life as nothing had happened...sorta. The assault made me feel self-conscious about my body and caused an eating disorder my junior and senior year of high school.

I was scared of relationships, I was scared to tell the person I was dating that it had happened in fear that I would be seen as damaged.

It doesn't affect me anymore, I'm in a loving relationship with a man that respects my body and was very patient with our sex life. He's never asked for specifics about what happened to me. He's helped me move on in a way that I never thought I could. I have moved on with my life and I don't let it hold me back.

I am now in a sorority, currently holding two positions. I also have a 3.5 GPA as a double major in psychology and criminal justice.

2. “It felt like I was being blamed.”

I was sexually assaulted 5 times.

Between 19 and 21 I was assaulted twice by an acquaintance and the other times by strangers.

I felt worthless and like I was alone.

I did not tell many people because I was scared they would blame me after they heard the story and they would leave me. One of the times, I went to the hospital and it was awful. I felt like I was being blamed, and questioned if it even happened.

I am hopeful for the future, I have recently chosen to follow Jesus and this has helped my healing process a lot. I am no longer alone in this fight, I have many sisters to walk with me and point me always to the lord. Through prayer, community, and support I have found my worth and my true self again. It happened but it doesn't define who I am today. I walk tall knowing that the Lord is with me.

Even though I was hurt and betrayed, I can be made new.

3. “I was in denial for about 4 months.”

I was 18.

It happened the weekend of dead week during the spring semester of my freshman year, 2017. I don’t remember most of it, just how scared and helpless I felt.

I was in denial for about 4 months. After it happened, I started having anxiety. I started to be extremely self-destructive and started to sleep with a bunch of people because I either wanted to feel in control of my body or because I was scared that they wouldn’t care if I said no. I started to party a lot more.

He started texting me multiple times - I never responded to him once. Every time I felt scared and anxious. My grades started falling as time went on, and my GPA this semester is the worst I’ve ever had.

A year after the incident, I opened up to all of my friends and never told my mother. I never reported anything because I felt so scared and guilty. I was scared I would’ve been the cause of ruining someone’s life.

I’m finally starting to take back my life now, but very very slowly. I used to be so driven, motivated, and excited about life, but now I am the exact opposite. I’m not very involved with anything at the moment, but am very excited to join a club next semester and start getting my life back on track.

I’m not a victim. I’m a survivor, and I’m ready to rise above.

4. “He was my boyfriend.”

It happened last spring. The assault itself wasn’t recurring, but the relationship continued to be toxic and emotionally abusive.

At first, I felt sad. He felt guilty, we cried together. It was really upsetting, but in the end, I forgave him because I was his girlfriend.

I didn’t receive any help. Nobody even knows that it happened. It took me a long time to even realize I was raped. It wasn’t until we were broken up and I was attending a workshop put on by health and wellness that I realized what happened.

My rape wasn’t typical. The problem was that my "consent" was coerced. He asked four times for sex before I gave in and said yes, even with my 'yes' being hesitant.

I feel lots of emotions. At first, I felt very angry with the fact that he raped me and doesn’t even know it. I wish sometimes to talk to him and confront him about it. But I haven’t and doubt I will ever do so. But more than anger, I feel pity towards him. He forced a woman to say yes.

Right now, I have my ups and downs. Some days it’s a struggle to even get out of bed, knowing that men are out there that are worse than him. It’s a struggle to move and even breathe sometimes, a burden that is almost too heavy. But other days I feel motivated.

Most of all, I want to try and support the victims of sexual assault. How are people still hurting people like this? It’s unacceptable and it’s time for a change.

Now, I am a member of a sorority, officer of English Club, member of Crimson VIP, graduate of Emerging Leaders. I am double majoring in English and Psychology with a 3.30 GPA.

5. “I was told I lost the case on a technicality.”

He was 17 and had recently been released from juvie. He was there for manslaughter. It was the first time I had ever been drunk. I was cross-faded and could not even walk on my own.

It happened after I had gotten in bed after a kickback and my friend joined me. Another person came into the room and took my underwear off. He told me “you’re going to get black dick” as I remained helpless.

Before he could continue, my friend woke up and told him I wasn’t into it and he needed to stop, at that moment I felt invisible.

Somehow I kicked him off of me and chased him around the house. I told the other people in the house that I was going to kill him and that he had just raped me.

I called 911 for myself and they showed up a little while later. The guy who raped me, my childhood best friend, and her boyfriend had driven off and the police stopped them and brought them in before coming to me. I think being crossfaded saved my life when the police took my BAC it was at “poisonous” levels. I was in the hospital for the whole day. I went there at 5 am.

They had to get a special nurse to do my evaluation because apparently normal nurses aren’t sensitive enough or something. It was the worst experience I’ve had with doctors/nurses/hospitals. I regret going there. It didn’t help me at all. They gave me prophylactic medication for HIV, which cost me over $1000. They took my clothes (for evidence) but I never got them back.

After the hospital, I was assigned an advocate who helped me navigate the entire thing, including the court system and my own feelings. My first meeting with the court officials was spring break 2017, 7 months after the actual rape.

My first trial date was August 28, 2017, more than one year after the date of the rape, it didn’t go through. The trial was pushed back to September, then to October. Finally, on October 30, 2017, trail happened and I had to testify.

I was told I lost the case on a technicality. The judge told my lawyer that he wishes he could have charged the guy, however, the law defines consent as “yes or no”. I didn’t specifically say no, so there was no lack of consent in the eyes of the law.

I hate that I went through all of that. I hate that it took so long for me to be told that because I didn’t say no, I wasn’t raped.

I’ve moved on, I have a boyfriend and I’m happy. I’ve become comfortable sharing what has happened to me. I’m in a sorority and I am an athletic training major. Fall semester 2017 was the worst semester for me grades wise because every month I went home to court just to end up not having it until October.

Overall I am okay, I’m here, I made it through, I didn’t get the outcome that I wanted, but life goes on.

6. “He was an RA.”

It was my sophomore year of college. I met someone through mutual friends and thought he seemed nice. We met up and it was a fun time. I felt really connected to him.

He was an RA and I thought that was the coolest thing. Red flags started popping up soon after and I was so infatuated that I ignored them. He would start abusing his 'powers' as an RA. This was around the time I had just joined a sorority and he told me "If you ever go out to a frat, I'm breaking up with you." He would justify it with his job. I believed him and thought he was looking out for my best interests.

The turning point came when I would be half asleep and he would "be in the mood." I remember him kissing me, touching me, I would verbally protest and say, "No, I just want to sleep." He would keep going. For some reason, I thought this was okay, and I was his girlfriend so that was fine. There were times he would keep going, despite me asking him to stop saying I felt uncomfortable or something hurt, but he would say "I'm almost done, please let me finish." I would just grin through the pain.

I ended up leaving him. Somewhere between all that, I got an STI, luckily it was one that was treatable with antibiotics. But as per the advice of health and wellness, they still advised that I informed previous sexual partners from the last year and of course someone... was on that list.

I contacted him again and he was very sweet about the whole thing and understanding. I felt like he was not the same man, so I went back to him. I found comfort and excitement. I believed he had really changed, that belief was quickly shot.

One night I went over to his room and as we were just cuddling. He started to move his hand around and kept going. I asked him to stop and he kept going. He wanted to have sex. I was so tired and not in the mood; I said no. But that never stopped him.

I was basically asleep as he penetrated me. I never reported this. I never told anyone. I thought it was my fault. I didn't think anyone would care because I didn't see it as a traditional sexual assault scenario like what's portrayed in media. I felt really lost. We broke up again a few weeks later.

I later realized how awful that whole relationship was and the toxic person it made me. I was consuming alcohol to suppress feelings and emotions.

I'm very thankful someone pointed out my actions to me. It hurt, but it helped me realize everything and make a change in myself. I still work with the man who sexually assaulted me.

I have been an RA for two years and vow to best support residents of mine who experience similar situations. I work two jobs, I'm still in my sorority, and I have a cumulative 3.4 GPA, double major, minor, and certificate and made honor roll last semester.

I am graduating in May. Seeing him pisses me off. I can't quit my job because I need money and there's no one to replace me. I feel stuck.

7. “He was the president of his frat.”

I was sexually assaulted my freshmen year of college while at a sorority endorsed event. I was 18 and it was homecoming week.

I had been drinking, but not enough to cause me to be in the state I was in. I believe that I was drugged.

The only thing I remember is putting on my shoes and crying after.

I called one of my best friends and he talked to me while I walked home. I was 30 minutes off of Greek row with no memory of leaving the event I was at. A random man was walking with two women while I was heading home. I was lost, cold and scared. With tears streaming down my face, I asked the random people if they could please walk me to a public area so I could have one of my guy friends walk me home.

My guy friend told me he has never seen me so sad or so inebriated, only reinforcing the idea I was drugged. The guy who raped me messaged me the next day and told me I had loose morals since I had sex with him without a condom.

I was incredibly broken by this experience. I had to have an STD test for the first time in my life. I was told my rape was my own fault, and my whole body ached from the emotional trauma of the whole experience. I have never received help for this incident specifically, however, I now go to counseling one to two times a week.

Now, I feel bad for my rapist. I feel sorry that he doesn’t know how much he hurt me and I feel sorry that he will always be a broken version of himself, while I became stronger from the situatiion.

I am in a sorority, I have my associates degree, a 3.6 GPA and I am applying to nursing school.