Who is meaner? Girls or guys? For a lot of people, the answer to this question is plain and simple. Girls. Girls are constantly labeled as catty, petty, mean, crazy, and more. Not all women live up to the stereotypes but sadly, almost every woman can think of another woman who hurt them in some way, or that they think is mean, catty, and so forth. Every woman has had another woman talk badly about them behind their back and most women have talked badly about another woman behind their back. The backstabbing and hurtful rhetoric is only amplified by social media. Girls are mean. But do we have to be?

The answer is no. Women do not have to be mean to one another. In a world where women are underrepresented in upper level employment, make seventy-nine cents to a man’s dollar, and are still discriminated against on a daily basis, lowering ourselves socially is the last thing we should be doing. We need to focus on uplifting and empowering one another for any and every reason, no matter how small. Compliment other women on their hair, outfit, or makeup. Sometimes just a small compliment can lead to a lot of confidence. Encourage another woman to join the team, apply for a job, go to college, or apply for a graduate program. Encourage one another to tackle any obstacle that we may face. Celebrate personal victories, and make an effort to spend more time spreading good words about other women than spreading rumors, insults, and bitter commentary.

I can think of many instances, mostly in high school, where I have seen some of my best friends hurt over rumors started by other girls. During my senior year, my best friend and her boyfriend broke up due to a rumor about her that was not true. Words can cause relationships to dissolve; they can end friendships, and they can cause damage that may not ever heal. I have had girls say horrible things about me behind my back. As a woman I have also caused my fair share of damage with my own words either by spreading gossip or listening to others spread it without trying to help. These are actions that I regret very much and consciously try to improve every day. Some relationships can never be salvaged but a simple apology can make both parties feel better and provide closure to a situation.

Make an effort to make more female friends. Having male friends can be fun, but nothing compares to having the bond that women can create with one another through good friendships. My most rewarding friendships happen to be with other women. Try to be more understanding with other women instead of judging appearance or immediate demeanor. Say hello. The world is not a competition, especially in a world where women need to be lifted up. If we stop dragging each other down, it will be a million times easier to encourage one another to all be better, work harder, and treat each other better.

Instead of causing emotional turmoil, drama, and distress among other women, work to make another woman feel good about herself. We are all beautiful in our own way and need to learn to recognize that beauty in ourselves as well as in each other. I’m tired of hearing about girls calling each other "bitches, sluts, and whores". I want to hear more women calling one another smart, funny, kind, outgoing, caring, confident, intelligent, charismatic, or strong. If all of us work on an individual level to better our behavior towards other women we can cause a chain reaction that might make the world a better and more equal place for all women. I want to see a world where we can empower and compliment one another to help each other reach our goals; whatever they may be. When women start empowering one another and stop each other from fitting the catty stereotype for even a moment, the world will be a much better, and hopefully a more equal place.