I am 18, and time won't stop so I'm bound to hit 19 when my birthday rolls around in some time next year. As I'm aging, older women have a tendency to tell me to appreciate my body now because it will not look the same later, like they can predict my future. They don't tell me so I actually appreciate my body now, but because it's apparently the only time I'll be considered attractive. More importantly, more attractive to the male gaze. They also tell me they could remember when they used to look young because youth is equivalent to beauty in our society and this has always bothered me.
Men are allowed to age while women are on a 40 year timer for their bodies.
Ageism is discrimination based on someone's age, whether it be young or old and was coined back in 1969. The name isn't new, but some people seem to be more aware of it lately. The youth and elderly both experience it, just in different ways. Many people have heard the millennial jokes about them being glued to technology while people assume their elders can't use technology at all. There is also the stereotype that our elders don't know what they're talking about because of their age, but the same thing applies when it comes to our youth. Ageism can go both ways and I don't enjoy either.
My experience is that many of my thoughts and emotions have been invalidated because of my age and I that am pretty because of my age. My experience also ties in with sexism. I need to appreciate my beauty now because one day I'll have those scary wrinkles and eye bags. Although I am not an older woman, I do not fear these at all and I don't see why other women should either. Aging is something that can never be avoided and while some people may look younger, it doesn't mean that they didn't age.
In movies, men can be heroes or villains or even the love interest of a twenty something year old girl. They can have wrinkles and greying hair and still play the same roles they did when they were younger. Women on the other hand, are stuck with the same caring or nagging ‘mom’ roles once they hit 40. Women have crows feet while men have laughing lines. As a woman, unfortunately your value and worth is determined by how you look, and our society is very prejudiced against those who aren't deemed conventionally attractive.
Society tends to scare our young girls into being obsessed with their looks. I don't mean our professional makeup artists and fashion designers in life. I mean our teenage girls who don't look nice because they want to, but because they feel like they have to in order to feel worthy and valued. I don't have an issue with women who wear makeup, who like to wear nice clothes, or are comfortable in their skin, but my issues begin when some of these women force their routines and beliefs onto other women. They don't recommend their beauty tricks and tips so these girls can be more confident, but so they can be more visually appealing to people which I also believe to also be damaging.
We don't always give older women compliments on their looks. When we do give them compliments, it's because she ‘looks good for her age’ or ‘she is aging well’. Everything is tied into the fact that young is perceived as healthy and beautiful, and I wish society would stray from this mindset one day. I can only hope society can improve on their views of both young and old women, but everything takes time.
