There are certain things you don't realize about being a woman until you become an adult. You start to realize there are certain things the world has imparted upon you throughout your youth.
As a woman in society, you're automatically set up to be the nurturer and caregiver for your family, friends…the entire world.
You're meant to spend your time making others feel comfortable and feeling the need to apologize at every turn.
It's unfortunate we live in a world where we feel the need to apologize for a lot of the times for being ourselves.
We apologize for not always looking out best.
We apologize for feeling uncomfortable.
We apologize for wanting better for ourselves.
We apologize for choosing to do things “women shouldn't do."
We apologize for being ourselves.
Even in situations where we could be at our most discomfort, we feel the need the need to make others feel comfortable.
Recently, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford sat before Congress to recount about a traumatic event in her life to the entire world. It was at this moment, we watched Dr. Ford attempt to make jokes and laugh to make others in the room, particularly men, feel more comfortable. Meanwhile, this is one of the most visible uncomfortable moments of her life.
We're worried about everyone's discomfort except our own. We're in a time in which we are able to have a stronger confidence than any generation of women before us. It's that confidence that scares certain men, as they work to drive us back into the times in which we had little to no control over our lives.
An apology is meant to be made when someone has done something wrong against another. Apologies are not meant for things in which no one has done anything wrong.
Even female celebrities, people who we believe should the most confident in themselves, fall into the same trap.
A few months ago, “The Flash" leading lady, Candice Patton tweeted about her own experience of apologizing for something that she shouldn't. It's a reminder, that even with each other, we tend to apologize without reason. It's something so ingrained in us, we sometimes fail to realize when we do it.
Candice Patton tweets about unnecessary apologizing from womenTwitter
Candice Patton talking about how women are programmed to be in society Twitter
We have to remind each other not to engage in unnecessary apologizing. I know, it's hard, I'm just as prone to do it as all of us. It's become even more noticeable as I've entered the work world. It requires a lot of work and support to move past what we've been “programmed" into. It's why we have to work to support and lift each other up.
We have a hard enough time in the work world, we don't need to be against each other. The things we experience there can often make us the most uncomfortable since it's the place we have to return to most days.
If you're uncomfortable, it should not be your job to hide it or make them feel more comfortable about the situation.
For all the men out there, who want to be allies to women, you need to support women in these situations. If you make a woman feel uncomfortable, it is your job to apologize to her, not for her to apologize to you.
If others are making women uncomfortable, in the safest and best way possible, you need to address the situation.
The latest episode of ABC's "The Good Doctor" featured females standing up from themselves against a male co-worker in terms of professional opinions.
Both females, a resident doctor and a surgical nurse, refused to give up their voice in the situation.
At the end of the episode, everyone came to an agreement on a professional level.
It was the example of the type of thing we should see on a regular basis.
Women have had the strongest influence on the world since the beginning of time. We've always been powerful, we just need the confidence to believe that we're powerful.
Although, as Peter Parker's Uncle Ben, once said…" With great power comes great responsibility." The power we have cannot be used unfairly against others, despite our hurt and pain. The power we have should be used to advance ourselves in positive ways, such as equal pay and equal rights.
Everyone one of us has strength, some have more than others. It's the matter of taking control for yourself a not letting anyone
It doesn't matter how strong you consider yourself, we're all a work in progress; not only with ourselves but with each other.
