Imagine you are perched onto a stingy couch at some crazy party that you didn't even want to go to. Moments into it and you feel out of place, completely over every single person in this tightly packed sex fest. Consequently, ready to leave at the drop of the next shot glass or drunken scream for attention from the girl that all the boys seem to crave. Just as you grab your belongings and attempt to head out, your best friend plummets onto the couch, dives into your lap, and hands you whatever concoction she made after playing beer pong. And so, the all too familiar story runs its course: you have a few more drinks, you mingle, and suddenly you find yourself in a bedroom, with another individual, promiscuously having fun. By all means, welcome to College Hookup culture. Although liberating and at times full of sexual adventure, hook-up culture has still one flaw: men and women are still seen as unequal, which adds to the already huge gender gap instilled by society.
The above scenario is an accurate, but very brief example of what millions of college students across the American nation engage in. Casual hook-ups, widely ranging from kissing to intercourse, have become somewhat of the new frontier for college students. Said acts usually start off as casual dates or encounters at any particular scene where there is drinking, and from then on lead to more secluded areas, where hooking-up then begins.
Hooking up is "...a drunken sexual encounter with ambiguous content that is supposed to mean nothing and happen just once. It's a scrappy little sex act, a wayward Cupid," according to Lisa Wade, author of American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus.
In hindsight, this higher performance of leisurely sex started in the 1960's baby boom, where women began their sexual liberation and also had first access to birth control. Later generations transitioned their dating habits and began hooking-up as a way for women to reward men for essentially "taking care of them" in regards to paying for dates and being "gentlemen," as evident from Wade's second chapter in American Hookup. These young women, although delighted with the showcase of fine-dining and ability to have sex with minimal fear of pregnancy, finally set a notion that they were willing to give men access to their bodies for free without reward. Therefore, dates were no longer necessary for women to have sex. And so, America saw the evolution of the current day hook-up.
Yet with all this sexual freedom, women still face ridicule and stigma based on one factor: their gender. Young women in college often refrain from sexual activity or telling others when they do commit to hookups just for the sake of not receiving an unwanted label.
"Guys are encouraged to fuck twice a day. However, girls are encouraged to be married to have sex. I think it's a topic perpetuated by media, which is a reflection of society" said Cheryl Marie Marguerite, a sophomore at Quinnipiac University.
Cheryl's comment on the difference for men and women hooking up is represented by Laura Hamilton and Elizabeth A. Armstrong's research. These two professors are co-authors of Gendered Sexuality in Young Adulthood, in which they discuss the contemporary gender theory; where women and men are categorized into their gender and must act as such. In other words, it is a social construction; more specifically referred to as gender inequality. In relation to sex, gender division is significantly present when men are in some sense praised for how much sex they have whereas women are seen as sluts, whores, and plenty of other derogatory terms. The gap even goes as far as women receiving less pleasure when it comes to sexual activity. But the question is: why?
The answer: gender inequality is what causes indifferent treatment of men and women when it comes to sex and hookups. But the fact of the matter is that this one answer is more complex, with a plethora of factors weighing in on the result of social stigma towards gendered sexuality.
Gender inequality in regards to hooking up begins with emphasized gender roles. As researcher and author Danielle M. Currier describes in Strategic Ambiguity: Protecting Emphasized Femininity and Hegemonic Masculinity in the Hookup Culture, women's feminine roles are enhanced in hookup culture. This is evident whenever a woman tries protecting herreputation based on how much sex she has. Often, females tend to refrain from having too many hookups, but just enough so that they are able to participate in the culture. Emphasized femininity is even seen during hookups, where women try to pleasure their partner as opposed to expecting to receive orgasm. Men on the other hand tend to display hyper masculinity. For instance, males often create and interpret hookups differently around other males, meaning they show off their participation in hook-up culture as evidence of "doing their gender" correctly. Men feel pressured into making a mark, or identity, for themselves around other men.
"The fact that women perform oral sex on men more than vice versa helps illuminate the patterns of emphasized femininity evident in the interviews. Women expect to satisfy men's sexual needs and desires by helping them achieve orgasm, but do not expect the same in return, thus privileging the man's desires over their own" states Currier in her book.
Evidently, even the performance in hookups is unequal between genders. Women constantly give sexually rather than take from men. These small acts eventually develop into patterns of hyper-feminine roles because women are not advocating for what they want, or desire, sexually. Rather, women in hookup culture remain submissive, a characteristic seen in past generations. Point blank, women are overly feminine in hookup culture and men are hyper-masculine, both results of society placing a gap on gender equality. This said gap then pours into hookups that can go as far as actual intercourse.
Gender inequality in hookup culture is also seen when women are cautious about their sexual interactions. Whenever a female denies hooking up, or claims she has had fewer hookups than the actual truth, she unknowingly consents to being the unequal gender. Similarly, Currier points something out in her research; the name hookup is ambiguous in itself. Hookup has allowed men and women to express sexual activity, but in an unclear sense. By using this term, adolescents are granted a safety net in which they can provide just enough information on their sexual participation, but not too much so that others have limited ability to judge.
When asked if she ever refrained from hooking up in order to escape certain stigmas, Rosie Gershman, a sophomore at Quinnipiac University said, "Yes, because I didn’t want to be judged for my decision."
On the flip side, even men can be labeled. To illustrate, Brandon, a Suffolk University student, stated,
"As a Latino man, people that don't even know me call me a fuckboy based on my appearance and ethnicity." (Brandon asked that his last name remain confidential)
Consequently, the coined term "hookup" justifies sexual experimentation amongst young adolescents, especially when society seems to judge them for the slightest things, such as the way they look. And although stigma is portrayed for both genders in hookup culture, women still remain more careful about preserving their reputation. Erin Lowkes, a sophomore at Quinnipiac University claims she feels that slut shaming is much more prominent towards women than men.
"As a girl, I see males and females are very quick to label females as sluts. I feel like the term slut is thrown around to females in fights and arguments. A girl doesn’t have to be sexually active at all to be labeled a slut."
Another aspect of unequal treatment in hookup cultureis the sexual double standard. Best explained by Hamilton and Armstrong in Gendered Sexuality,
"The notion that men and women have distinct sexual interests and needs generates a powerful set of public gender beliefs about women's sexuality. A belief about what women should not do underlies a sexual double standard."
In further detail, the sexual double standard usually implies that men should be ravenous in their sexual pursuits while women are expected to tie themselves down to one individual in order to have sex, otherwise known as the relational imperative. However, women have shown in various studies that they do not want relationships because they are emotionally taxing and hinder academic performance. Women are also interested in the emergence ofhookup culture due to a desire for experimentation. The only issue is that they are often negatively labeled and face difficulty finding men looking for a relationship.
Now, just try to understand these expectations: women are expected to have sex in committed relationships, yet men are encouraged to have as much sex as they can. So, women that are impure to these "guidelines" get labeled in defamatory manners, leaving their only option, again, to be in a committed and serious relationship in order to have sex. Unfortunately, the only problem is that most men are sincerely interested in having sex, or hooking up because society highly encourages them to. However, it is difficult for men that actually want relationships because others will see them as flawed if they do not actively participate in hookups.
Henry, one of Currier's interviewees forher research for Strategic Ambiguity explained how hookup culture has defined a certain characteristic for men. They are essentially expected to have a very sexual lifestyle.
"For guys, I guess sexuality is kind of questioned if you're not seen talking to a girl or making out with a girl."
Furthermore, double standards also target women.
"If you're a girl and you do it, you're a ho, you are dirty. But if you're a man, you're like, a baller" said Brianna, a student at Suffolk University that asked her last name not be mentioned.
Pure and simple: society treats men and women differently based on one aspect, their gender.
In consequence, sexual double standards stem from relational and sexual imperatives that clash with gendered sexuality. As a result, women and men in current day college hookup culture enjoy the sexual escapades they get to have, but the consequences that arise lead to gender inequality, an already present issue within society.
When all is said and done, hookup culture has becomea liberation for young adults that want sexual experimentation. But with it, come many gendered issues that are heavily influenced by society. Now, re-envision the scenario I gave you...
…how will you help stop gendered sexuality in hookup culture?
