Usually when I’m making my way to class, I will have Hoodie Allen or The Weeknd overpowering my eardrums and shutting out the rest of the world. One day this week led me to overhearing a conversation between two women walking right in front of me. And the whole conversation was about how she was unable to get a boyfriend. Sorry sister, there’s several women in the world with the same problem as you. But it led me to two things: one, this is why I always wear headphones and two, are women basing their worth on guys?

Do we spend all of our time with friends or anyone who will listen to us, to complain about men? Whether we are single, in a relationship or married, most of what comes out of our mouths fixate on something that happened with us and men. And if we aren’t complaining about the men we date, we’re complaining about the men around us—work or otherwise. Quite frankly I think I need a break. Remember when you were young and all you had to worry about was what color to paint your nails and the latest tv show you were obsessed with? There was no drama in regards to boys or the lack thereof, but once your biological clock starts ticking all hell breaks loose. When you discover boys are actually interested you, here come the days of monthly Brazilians, SNS mani/pedis, salon blowouts, and large Sephora purchases. But when do we make these purchases for ourselves and not for men? Can women honestly say they dress up for themselves or for the self-worth it gives them to be noticed by the opposite sex? When did we lose our love for ourselves, comparing ourselves to models and expecting men to love us when sometimes we don’t even love ourselves?

To those girls that were in front of me this past week, I hope you realize that your value isn’t based on whether you’re single or not. It’s not based on your ticking biological clock or the fact that your mom is begging for a June wedding sometime soon. Your self-value is based on you. Remember that and please try not to have conversations the whole campus can hear. And I’ll go back to listening to bad music with bad lyrics.