Would you want a partner who says one of the reasons they love you and are attracted to you is because you're a "strong independent woman" or you would be an "amazing mom and wife?"
The Bachelorette finale just aired and to everyone's surprise, she chooses Garrett. When Blake and Garrett were describing why they loved Becca, Blake said the former of the question above and Garrett said the latter. Modern Family actress Sarah Hyland had a huge problem with Garrett's description.
My initial reaction to this was "yes, she's so right." However, I realized that in this day in age there is a negative connotation that has happened with an amazing mom vs. a strong independent woman? Hyland's comment is almost assuming that Garrett sees her as a mom without a career and Betty home-maker.Why can't a woman be an amazing mom and a strong independent woman? Why is there a divide?
Moms are badasses and so is every other woman. There shouldn't be a distinction between the two.
As a sociology major, I constantly read Dorothy Smith's second shift work and Audre Lorde, but there is nothing wrong with being a Betty home-maker. Some women know from the beginning that they want kids and they want their home life to be everything. Some woman wants kids and their careers, while others just want the careers. Whatever path they choose they are strong and have a right to their choices.
What I think Hyland is trying to say is that it's better for a man to see you as strong and independent than submissive. I totally agree women can hold their own. We need to have more men who believe in this, but Garrett's comment doesn't negate that or mean he doesn't believe that.
Men need to work on seeing women as equals, but the women growing up today need to work on not turning up their noses to those who choose a life as a stay-at-home mom and wife.Just wanting to be a mom is just as badass as just wanting to be a female doctor. They both have different kind of day to day struggles.
So why not be referred to as either or? A strong independent woman and an amazing wife and mother. You can be both, one, or neither if you so choose.