As an English Major, I will be forever in awe of the tremendous power of words. Some say that actions speak louder, but the authority of words is undeniable as simple phrases ignite revolutions, as poetry heals the hurts of society, and as passages of prose demand recognition of human error and flaws.

As I am also a Gender Studies Major, I am very aware of the affects that gendered language has upon the construction of binary gender roles, characteristics, and identities.

And so, with the combination of these studies and the power that words hold over the shaping of our world, and the effects that sexist language has upon the construction of a misogynistic society, it is important to examine what language we can change, what words we should retire, and most importantly, what we should be saying to normalize respect and tolerance, rather than sexism and inequality.

Early along the interminable path of misogyny that our societies have developed and maintained, femininity became an insult. The vagina has been branded with several nicknames, most of which are insulting and can be conveniently utilized in everyday conversation to call out someone who is acting pathetic and weak. Even without nicknames, “vagina” is often used to imply feebleness and limitations, reinforcing sexist assumptions that to be a woman is to be weak. Slurs like “bi**h” and “slut” are exceedingly popular in today’s vocabulary, and simultaneously insult while further implying that femininity or female sexuality is bad and wrong. And let’s not forget the timeless classic “you (insert verb of choice) like a girl,” which implies that men are superior to women, and again, reduces the female identity to nothing more than an insult. Let’s “woman up” and have the courage to eradicate the use of “female” as an insult.

There are slight variations amongst dictionaries when it comes to the definition of “feminine,” but each includes words like “sensitive” and “gentle,” and emphasize the importance of these traits to the feminine identity. While masculinity is synonymous with toughness, a lack of emotion, strength, and power, femininity is associated with softness, delicateness, sweetness, and kindness. I’m not saying that these characteristics are terrible and that we should be vengeful monsters to retaliate against the system, I’m saying that it is unfair that we are forced into a gender the moment we are born, and that it is wrong that in order to be a woman in this world, we must be obedient, quiet, and caring. Society encourages us to be ladylike, we are nurtured to be gentle, and are expected to be everything that masculinity is not, just as men are expected to be everything femininity is not. Do not settle for passivity, do not define yourself by stereotypes; being kind and being powerful are not mutually exclusive characteristics, they are not innate biological behaviors of any individual, and they know no gender.

Just as characteristics are associated with genders, careers and job titles are also stereotyped into masculinity or femininity by a single word. Don’t believe me? Try this exercise; picture a police officer. In your mind, is the police officer a man or a woman? In reference to CEOs, or government officials, doctors, or truck drivers, if gender is unknown, we often times subconsciously provide them with a masculine identity. On the other hand, we place a “she” in sentences referring to secretaries, nurses, hairstylists, and teachers. All of these jobs are important, however, by a subtle language reinforcement of gendered career expectations, we limit both men and women into a range of specific careers, often into those that fit with gendered behaviors and characteristics. Let’s help everyone to achieve the future of their dreams by eliminating gendered language surrounding jobs and careers.

Another reinforcement of gendered career goals and stereotyped identity traits originates from the gender-exclusive language. Mailman, congressman, chairman, mankind; this language excludes women with subtle yet extremely powerful oppression. Such gendering brings forth associations of masculinity with specific jobs and activities, thereby excluding femininity, and also sets women aside to reinforce the idea that we do not belong or that we are not as important. It takes half a though to say congressperson, or humankind, and yet in doing so it includes half of the world’s population that is so often left out or repressed.

Our language is also lacking when referring to individuals who do not fit into the black and white binary of our gendered society. Men and women, girls and boys, he and her; we have grown up with this language, we do not teach anything other than she or him, and often times we don’t think to ask about preferred gender pronouns. In this case, our language forces us to adhere to “one or the other,” and takes away the freedom to be ourselves. It is as powerful to ask and utilize a person’s preferred gender pronoun, as it is detrimental to force their identity into something it is not.

People often underestimate the importance of language when discussing rape. An important part of bystander education in regards to sexual assault cases is how to talk to a victim of rape should they choose to confide in you. Asking questions like “where were you,” or “what were you wearing,” are examples of victim blaming, and place the responsibility and blame for the rape on to the victim. This is an example of rape culture, where sexual assault is normalized especially through the language we choose to use when discussing sexual violence. When someone says that they “were raped by a test,” rape is normalized. When twitter provides a platform for #itsnotrapeif, rape becomes comedy. When tabloids print stories with headlines like “Woman Cries Rape,” a traumatizing experience is invalidated and rape, again, becomes a joke, a common occurrence, a norm in our society.

Our words are powerful, especially when it comes to issues of gender and sexuality. Often times, sexist and intolerant language is perpetrated out of ignorance, or a lack of thought, and causes a continuation of inequality. Such misogyny is dangerous, as it comes from unconscious thought and yet demonstrates just how pervasive and ingrained inequality is into the roots of our society. Taking a second to think about how our words are received, or what they might reinforce can make all the difference when it comes to combating discrimination.