So here you are, coming to college. Whether you're returning for another stress-filled year or this is the beginning of your adventure in student loans, you're a woman in STEM. Maybe you're studying Biology, maybe you're a math whiz, engineering could be your thing, or like me, maybe you're a technology geek.
Either way, there's one thing all of us STEM ladies unfortunately have in common- the prejudice we face.
I remember my first "real" class in computer science. One thing that I remember clearest was how there were almost no other women with me, and I would be lying if I didn't say it was intimidating. Whatever women I did see, we tended to sit near each other. Comfort in numbers, I suppose. The thing that was the worst to remember, is what seemed to be a lack of patience with the women vs. all the patience in the world with the men.
Professors and teachers alike always harp on you to ask questions, ask many, and ask frequently. Well I did just that. I remember my confusion being returned with statements like, "Well some people just aren't meant to study in this field." or "If you don't understand, you don't understand." Leaving me to wonder, was this passion of mine unfounded? Was I truly just not meant to study technology?
A simple observation of how different I was treated from my male classmates sparked this certain, for lack of a better word, rage within me. Maybe not rage, but pure frustration. While I was being told not to study this field anymore, my male classmates' questions were being met with sincere answers and patience to understand them.
I felt honestly defeated at points. I've always internally been just a girl who loved to learn, and yearned to understand. I ask many questions in this journey, and suddenly I was too intimidated. I've always been an outgoing and loud woman, but I found myself silenced. I was afraid to speak up and ask when I was confused, and if I did speak up, I noticed I had developed a stutter from a once strong and confident voice from being mortified of asking a stupid question or looking like I don't deserve to be there.
You would think my male classmates would notice said inequalities and use their privilege to make it known, but it never happened. In fact, sometimes they would make it worse. One thing that has always stuck with me was when men would tell me how "smart I was for a girl" for studying computer science. While I'm sure this is supposed to be a compliment, it's truly a backhanded compliment that undermines women as a gender. It suggests women are, in general, not smart enough to study this major or that being a computer science major defines my intelligence.
So you may be wondering, what's the point of sharing all these generally negative experiences? To show that there is still a prejudice that exists. We sometimes get caught up with thinking how much progress we've made in our lives that we don't realize how much more progress has yet to be made with gender equality.
Although a lot of crappy stuff has happened during my adventure as a computer science major, it's further driven me to study harder. To succeed. Even if it's to only graduate just to prove to all the people who didn't believe I could, that I did it.
To all the men in STEM, be equal to your female classmates. They're just as intelligent as you are, if not maybe even more intelligent. They've worked just as hard as you have and deserve just as much as you do to be here. Be kind, be fair, and treat everyone with the same love and respect you demand.
I encourage all my other fellow women in STEM out there to do the same. Stick with it, no matter how hard it seems to get, or how unfair things may seem at times. You can do it. You're incredible, and you've made it this far. Look at you! Give yourself a pep talk in the mirror and drag yourself to class, no matter how many eye crusties and dread you may be overcome with. Just picture yourself, walking that stage, and just remember you can do it. I believe in you.
