Being a woman or a girl in today’s society, no matter where in the world, is so extremely dangerous, especially if we have a presence online. The two most recent and notable occurrences that hit close to home for me are the harassment cases of cartoonist Sophie Labelle and Overwatch player Glisa. Harassers, it seems, are most comfortable when they can hide behind a screen or alias and not have to actually take responsibility for their words or actions.

In the case of Sophie Labelle, transphobic “trolls” uncovered and then publicly posted Labelle’s home address and many other personal details on May 17th, which also happened to be International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia. This, in turn, forced both Sophie and her roommate out of the home in fear that someone may break in and assault them, or worse. Sophie also had to cancel a book launch at a local venue in Halifax, as they had also been receiving threats. The attackers also took down Labelle’s website, replacing it with Nazi imagery to support their outdated and extremely disgusting views of homophobia, racism, and sexism.

In the case of Overwatch player Glisa, the harassment came in the form of disgusting, sexist, and rapey comments made by other players who she happened to queue up with in a competitive match. Although she did not seem to react to it, Glisa did set up so that she could record the incident, that ended up being a grueling 16 minutes of footage. I myself could barely get through 5 minutes without wanting to punch players Acayri and Joel in the face. Of course, I have a little less composure when it comes to comments like this because I am not as good at just shutting it out. I am also not used to how toxic the PC gaming community can be. I’ve always heard stories, sure, but I didn’t believe them much until now.

I myself never feel safe anywhere I go, and I should not have to feel like that. I do not use my mic on Overwatch to speak to other players, but just to listen to strategy so I can be in the loop when we attack. But the moment I turn on my microphone is the moment all of my safety nets disappear. It is the moment that the floodgates open and suddenly I am no longer safe, because once you hear my voice, you know I’m a girl. I have only ever openly spoken on mic during a match where the players were friendly and where I was not the only girl, or when the entire team was composed of people I knew. This does not happen often. More often than not, I am surrounded be men, and that mirrors the outside world. There are very few places that I can go that are not male dominated. Even online, women have to fight to be heard, and when one person complains, no one believes her until an outpouring of other woman come to back her up.

Women have to travel in packs to the bathroom, they don’t leave their friends alone when they go out anywhere, and if I could pull together an all girl team for Overwatch, I would, just because it would feel safer. It is not fair that because of my gender, people assume they can say or do whatever they want to me. It is not fair that because of my ethnicities, people assume that I am submissive. I am angry, and sad, and goddamn do I wish that all of these people who harass women online would just up and die because the world does not need their hate. I am not looking for a goddamn safe space. These spaces should have been safe in the first place. It’s just the people who entered them that made them toxic.