Why I’m a Woman and NOT a Feminist.

Now I need to back up a little and explain why this heading shouldn’t be such a trigger to so many people. The definition of feminism is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. Fair enough. That seems like a blameless movement to follow. But when you take a deeper look into the heart of this movement, this is where I have the issue. In an article from womenhistory.com they describe what my problem is with this movement perfectly. They state, “Feminism describes a culture in which women, because they are women, are treated different than men.” This is a true statement, we are. Then it continues “…and that, in the difference of treatment, women are at a disadvantage”. This is where I disagree. This language creates a divisiveness in our culture.

I am glad that I am treated differently than a man, because I am different from a man. This doesn’t mean I appreciate degrading comments, or that I am somehow not aware of women’s situations in countries that do not value women. I am VERY aware of the turmoil some women have to go through around the world and even the U.S. There is no doubt there are heinous acts committed towards women that should stop. So I am just going to take a moment to talk about that. We are in the great country of The United States of America. There are issues that started in the 1890’s that we have now taken on and surpassed! We now have the right to vote, we have successful women at the top of businesses, we have the right to choose (abortion) and we even have a woman as a presidential candidate. Now some may say, “But we have a long way to go!” Okay, I can partially agree with that. Life for women isn’t perfect, but it’s not perfect for men either.

Let’s dive into that a little deeper. There are women that still feel women’s health issues haven’t progressed enough. There are women who feel they don’t earn the same and are discriminated against based on their sex. There are women who feel they are objectified because of their bodies. But that’s the thing, there ARE a lot of women who fight worthy causes. The only thing that the heart of feminism can’t do under its original definition is fight for men’s rights, too. That’s missing support of over HALF of the world population. There are groups of feminist who are aware of some injustices that men face. Which leads me to my next point…

Feminism is a broad term that rallies some people while simultaneously makes others squirm. That’s a reality. But why? It’s because feminism has stemmed into a bunch of different sub-groups. Let’s list a few: socialist feminism, liberal feminism, Marxist feminism, social feminism, cultural feminism, radical feminism, ecofeminism, individualist feminism, etc. Unfortunately, some of these sub-groups have disrupted the definition of what a woman and a man are and the amazing and beautiful differences we both possess… but that a whole other topic.

The point is, these different branches fight different things. Personally, I agree with some of them, and largely disagree with others. Some of these groups even contradict each other. This is where I think a lot of people get turned off. It’s hard to rally behind the general group of “feminist” when that same movement has contradicted its statements amongst its subgroups. This is why I think it’s important to consider a better definition, egalitarianism.

Egalitarianism is a trend thought that favors equality for all people. Similar to feminism, there are subgroups of this general term. But the biggest difference is, it doesn’t separate us in the heart of the definition. This term is also known as equalism, but take note, equal doesn’t mean same. It means removing injustices that prevent a person from having the rights that belong to all of us.

Here’s another truth bomb, we live in a broken world where hate, crime, violence, manipulation, evil, etc. exists. It’s tough for EVERYONE! And I am not in the business of comparing individual hurts to one another; every hurt sucks. There are trials that men have to go through that are also unspoken about. The “rugged individual” the “mysterious man” the “emotionally strong” shouldn’t be excepted labels. The man who fights for his kid in a custody battle and loses JUST BECAUSE he isn’t the mom. The normalization of porn and the health effects that is having on our men. There are many more beyond this list that exist for men. This list looks different from the women’s list and it should! Women and men were not created to be the same. They were created to complement one another. This is why I am not JUST in the business of bringing awareness to the needs/hurts/wants/desires/entitlements of women but of MEN, too. And it just seems that the definition of feminism cannot expand enough to encapsulate this.

So I end on this. If you call yourself a feminist, do you know which sub-group you agree with most? You might find out, you are already fighting for both genders in a certain area of concern. To those of you who do call yourself a feminist, I do not mean to offend the amazing works you are already contributing towards. I just ask, would you consider broadening the term feminism to equalism?