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Woes Of An Only Child

There's some disadvantages, but really it's great

Nov 28, 2016

Confession: I am not actually an only child. Call me a liar if you please, but I have lived the life of an only child the majority of my life so I feel qualified to call myself one. I do have two half sisters, but the age gap between the closest one in age is 18 years.

Being an only child has its perks—the guarantee of your own room, no unnecessary fights over the remote, no one sneakily taking your clothes—but this lifestyle comes with some drawbacks. Here are 9 reasons why:

1. Not knowing how to live with people in college

Bunk beds, snoring roommates, and music you didn't like was not a reality in the comfort of your own home. It's like an endless sleepover without supervision where the guest doesn't pack up and leave you to it in the morning.

2. Having to play board games by yourself

You know you spent hours playing Sorry or Trouble by yourself and picking a certain color as your favorite.

3. Not knowing how to play most board games or anything other than Solitaire

If it wasn't something you couldn't play by yourself or coerce your mom into playing, you didn't touch it. Which resulted in playing off your lack of knowledge about Apples to Apples as "not remembering."

4. Needing a lot of quiet time to function

Being around a lot of people for great stretches of time is a painful and hopefully avoidable experience. In order to be a decent person, we need to recharge alone.

5. Being called weird for reading all the time

Its not our fault we don't have a built-in guaranteed playmate

6. Being more comfortable with your parent's friends that people your own age

The people your age are so rambunctious compared to the laid back but composed people you're used to seeing around.

7. Talking to yourself shamelessly

And getting caught doing so. When there's no captive audience to hear you think out loud all the time that audience becomes yourself. Its usually a pretty interesting conversation, if that makes it any better.

8. Not being competitive

We never had to be competitive at home and it just didn't translate over to school, sports, etc. Sure, we may play sports and try to do well, but the natural drive to tear down whoever is in your way to victory is lacking.

9. Being the only kid at family gatherings

This results in becoming very close to Great Aunt Barbara. Not a bad thing since she makes great pies. It also results in # 6 above.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Woes Of An Only Child

There's some disadvantages, but really it's great

1. Not knowing how to live with people in college

2. Having to play board games by yourself

3. Not knowing how to play most board games or anything other than Solitaire

4. Needing a lot of quiet time to function

5. Being called weird for reading all the time

6. Being more comfortable with your parent's friends that people your own age

7. Talking to yourself shamelessly

8. Not being competitive

9. Being the only kid at family gatherings

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We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

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