As a confessed feminist and Gender & Women’s Studies major, I must admit that the millennials of my generation are chock so full of misinformation and ignorance on the topic of feminism (and its definition) that it’s truly appalling and disheartening! I am so ashamed of the viewpoints that young women have today, hold near and dear to their hearts, and staunchly believe in. I attribute these opinions to why women, till this day, are not treated as equals in almost every aspect of society: they are no longer fighting for their OWN rights, they have lied down and died.
And so I have taken the liberty upon myself of penning a letter to these young girls who belong to the “X” and “Z” Generations of today and have more rights than their “Baby Boomer” mothers and “Best Generation” grandmothers could have ever imagined— a letter in which I inform, yet also ask to be informed and enlightened on the reasonings for why the girls of today are forsaking feminism.
Dear female millennials,
It was only four decades ago when your innate birth rights—the same ones that have spoiled you and given you an immodest, nonchalant arrogance— were not the privileges that you know them to be today, privileges granted to you from the moment you were cannon-balled out of your mother’s womb and told you were special everyday thereafter until you believed it. The result is irony at it’s best: you take for granted these very rights that you were granted, just as one would their ability to walk or speak because it’s something that has always been there, something in which they did absolutely nothing in order to possess. You cannot ever know what the experience feels like to enjoy the Liberty Fruits gained through hard labour, you cannot ever relate to the women who came before you and paved the way, nor can you ever understand the gravity of the struggle endured just to gain basic civil rights because you were not there, you cannot call yourself a bystander and a renegade of the Feminist Revolution. I’m really very sorry for this!
Girls who denounce the idea of feminism and say that you don’t need it because you feel “equal,” answer me this one question (that I will follow with several rhetorical questions) that I’m really very curious to know: what exactly do you classify as “equal?” Does equal mean being exclusively singled out and discriminated against based on your own unique gender? To be considered equal, does one have to continue perpetuating the cycle of archaic, chauvinistic Bible rhetoric that says women are less than men, should basically be bowing down to their husbands and kissing the very ground that his calloused, misogynistic feet walk on (which will more than likely be the kitchen floor because, according to him, this is the only place where a woman truly belongs)? Do you think that the feeling of equality is actually the result of being treated as unequal?
Girls who shun the idea of feminism: are you so brainwashed by the paternal influences mainstreaming culture and your own lives that you absolutely believe in your heart of hearts that you are worth only as much as the amount of dishes you wash, the children you produce, the cleanliness of the floors you scrub down on your hands and knees while “barefoot and nine months pregnant,” and who you go to bed with? If so, then I blame your parents for never instilling in you the morals and values that you need to embody and wholly own to become a strong, powerful, independent, and successful woman. You lack drive, ambition, motivation, self-respect, etc., etc., I could go and on, but I won’t because the point that I am trying to get across to you cannot be done through propagating shame and by stating every quality that you’re missing in order to be a wholly complete individual. The point that I am trying to promulgate here is that you are already whole; you are a fully grown tree who has sprouted beautiful leaves with veins channeling life into you from every corner of your concentric wood. You do not need fertilization being dumped on your roots and filtered into the stems of your branches because you, my beautiful Willow, you have developed the arduous ardor of your arbor entirely on your own, and you don’t even realise it! How can I help you to realise this?
You must realise that relying entirely on a man means becoming wholly dependent on him, not only financially but also emotionally, and this will surely become the standard, at its most basic level, by which you will judge yourself. You will only consider yourself as good and as successful as the man who keeps you down under the weight of his foot because he never wants you to excel beyond the constraints that he has placed on you. He doesn’t want ideas to manifest themselves and run amok inside your head, encouraging you to believe that maybe, just maybe, you’re smarter than he is and you deserve better than the life that he has sentenced you to, and you deserve more than what he has provided you with. He knows that once you are engaged and hypnotised by these thoughts, that you will become obsessed with them until the point when your cork reaches its maximum kelvin and it’s blown, fed-up and enlightened, clear out of the bottle and into unchartered waters.
Becoming dependent on man is the worst handcuff that you could ever lock around your wrists— you have ultimately just given this man the key to your essence, your ka, and complete freedom to do with it as he pleases. Without a doubt, he’ll throw it away, sentencing you to an imprisoning matrimony, and not if, but when, the time comes where you find yourself unhappy and wanting to leave your marriage, you won’t be able to because you never took the initiative to acquire a college education; therefore, it will be almost impossible for you to acquire a job which will compensate you handsomely enough to continue affording you with the same lavish lifestyle that you’ve grown accustomed to. You know this, you can’t deny it— it’s why you stay and endure an unhappy marriage. This is the life that you have chosen; you have no one else to blame for your wounds but yourself— they are self-inflicted. This is the bed that you’ve made and now you must lie in it.
How can you find it plausibly justifiable to exert your own sex appeal in order to get by successfully in life? I can almost guarantee and bet money on it that you will, in turn, be the first girl to complain once a man sexually objectifies you and treats you as if you’re Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, but without the glamorisation of a good-looking, wealthy, and older man who spoils you with shopping sprees on Rodeo Drive and climbs up a fire escape like some fairytale Prince Charming while Roxette’s “It Must Have Been Love” serenades you in the background.
Now, I am no Simone de Beauvoir expert on feminism, but I don’t think one needs a degree in Philosophy or Gender Studies in order to gain the mostly uncommon quality of common sense. My sense tells me that a woman cannot, in one breath, express her desire to excel in life by exuding her looks and sex appeal, and then in the next breath, have a major outcry once society doesn’t take her seriously when she wants to be, calls her degrading denunciations (which I am not condoning), and expels her from classy shopping joints in Beverly Hills.
I know you, girl, better than you know yourself! I know that you’re that particular girl who boasts about the many “perks” that you’ve received based on something that you had absolutely nothing to do with and can’t control: the gender in which you were born with and the fortunate privilege of your mother spatting you out in a first world country that values your image more than any other characteristic that you may or may not possess. You’re this same girl who also demands, paradoxically, to be treated like a “Lady.” First of all, can you say, “oxymoron?” Secondly, how can you call this an equal treatment of both genders? This now becomes an issue of fairness with men being portrayed as the victims for once! I already know what you’re thinking before you even say it: the feminists would love this, they would love to give men a taste of their own medicine! Well, maybe that’s what a lot of men need, but if we’re going to look at this from a rationally fair point of view, then one cannot proclaim that two wrongs would most certainly even up the score and make things right. If it is totally acceptable for women to rely on their looks and their body to get by in life— beating out that male contending for the same employment opportunity, or getting out of that speeding ticket when just a few moments ago a male driver was ticketed for the exact same offense— then there is an issue of fairness here with men being the ones who are slighted and disadvantaged.
Also, if you are relying on your sex appeal to get men to give you whatever it is that you want at the snap of one of your freshly lacquered fingernails, how can you consider this being treated like a “Lady?” How can you even request this type of treatment and then not expect to, consequently, be heralded as a hypocrite?
In case you weren’t already aware of this, we no longer live amongst the radical Gloria Steinem feminists of the 1970s who marched on Capital Hill and burned their bras as a symbolic protest and warning to men that they were taking back control of their own bodies and would no longer let man-made inventions suppress, conceal, and corrode their femininity. The feminism that exists today has taken a more Liberal approach and also a less demonstrative stance. Today’s feminists are less disquieted, they accept the basic organization of our society, and only want to expand the rights and opportunities of women to where they can be free to develop their own talents and pursue their own interests (yes, this includes even you anti-feminists). They believe that gender should not operate as a form of caste, to where women are born with an innate and immediate disadvantage based on their gender that inhibits them, challenges them throughout the course of their lives, and labels them as an inferior sex because, let’s face it, the society at large does still treat women as if they are less than men, primarily in the workforce. How can you even argue in opposition to this? Are you purposefully trying to play Devil’s Advocate, here? At long last, I think I have finally figured out your true motives!
Maybe you were aware of today’s current feminism and how it differs from that of yesteryear, but did you know that it once was an opposing argument that a woman should never be the Commander-in-Chief of the United States because they menstruate once a month (some women more than once) until they reach menopause, and during this time of the month, they suffer from extreme mood swings that could jeopardize the safety of our country and others? Yes, that’s right, if we put women in such a powerfully esteemed position and allow them to make the executive decisions to declare war and launch nuclear missiles at foreign countries (brandishing their apathetic trigger-finger around red buttons), surely they’d drop an atomic bomb on Russia while experiencing one of these “mood swings,” and not even bat a single one of their mascara clad and clumped eyelashes at the atrocity they just committed. Maybe she was born a demagogue, or maybe it’s Maybelline?
A very important point that I want you to take away with you from this letter is that feminism does not show women in an ugly light, it sheds light, rather, on pertinent issues that are still affecting them today. One issue is that of sexual freedom. Women have to advocate and fight for control of their own sexuality and reproductive rights like they’re some type of cattle being auctioned off to the highest bidder, which often times happens to be their employer. Many employers won’t allow their company’s insurance plan to pay for employee contraceptives because of their own religious beliefs and political agendas (i.e. Hobby Lobby), ignoring the constitutional amendment calling for a “separation of church and state.” Most feminists support a woman’s right to choose whether to have children or to end a pregnancy, rather than allowing men— husbands, physicians, legislators— to control their reproduction.
Now, for a few words on chivalry: IT IS NOT DEAD! Also, IT IS NOT JUST A MAN’S JOB TO APPEASE ONLY WOMEN! And lastly, YOU CAN BE A FEMINIST AND STILL ENJOY CHIVALRY! I open doors for both men and women alike, and I also enjoy a door or two being opened for me, or a chair being pulled out for me to sit. These are just respectful things to do for another person— regardless of gender— called manners. My Momma didn’t raise no fool— she’s been instilling manners in me since I was old enough to talk and sit at the dinner table!
I also think that it’s important for you to know that with the current state of the economy, there is a great possibility that you will be thrown into the workforce because most households today need both the male and the female counterpart to bring home the bacon (or maybe one bringing home the bacon, the other bringing home the eggs). In 51.7% of households, women can no longer enjoy the privilege of being a “stay-at-home-mom,” and furthermore, I resent the belief that it is only the woman who should stay at home and raise the children. There are many fathers who are just as equipped, capable, and willing to stay at home and play Mr. Mom because their wife is maybe a bit (or a lot) more successful than they are, and it makes more sense, logically, for him to give up making $30,000 a year as a mechanic when she makes $100,000 a year as a Pharmacist. However, do not confuse what I am saying with the indisputable fact that women are still not treated as equals in the workforce— you cannot dispute this— because it has been proven that a woman makes 74 cents to every man’s dollar.
In case you don’t believe all of these numbers and statistics that I have thrown at you during the course of this letter, you can check out the website of the U.S. Labour Board for yourself. It’s there where you will find several little tidbits of quick facts, last updated in 2014, that will give you some perspective on women in comparison to men in the workforce, such as these:
• Of the 128 million women aged 16 years and over in the U.S., 75 million, or 58.5%, are labor force participants—working or looking for work— compared to the 69.2%, or 84 million, of the 122 million men.
• 6.1% of women are unemployed compared to 6.3% of men.
• On an average work week, women make $719 to a man’s $871.
• Most women are in Educational and Health Services, 36%, while only 10.9% of men find themselves in these types of careers. On the flip side, most men are in Wholesale and retail trade, 14.7%, with women encompassing 13.4% of these positions.
• The career field with the least amount of women participating is mining, quarrying, oil and gas extraction with only 0.2% to a man’s 1.2%.
• The only degree that more men have than women is a Ph.D. (and I would even venture to speculate that this is because a Ph.D. is usually achieved by students who are in their late 20s or early 30s, and by this point in a woman’s life, she is no longer thinking about becoming a doctoral candidate, she is thinking about getting married and starting a family). 9.3% of women hold a Masters Degree with men trailing behind at 7.9%; 20.5% have a Bachelors Degree and 20.2% of men do also; 27.7% have achieved an Associates Degree while 25.4% of men have achieved one also.
• There are more men than women who have graduated from high school but then chose not to pursue a secondary education: 30.4% (men) to 29% (women). Similarly, there are more men without a high school diploma (12%) than women (11.2%).
It doesn’t take a degree in Rocket Science to notice the undeniable gender inequality that exists in our country’s workforce, supported by cold-hard-facts, despite evidence showing that women, on the contrary, are more educated than men. You cannot deny the obvious existence of a gender stratification across the globe (not just in our country) that sets a precedent of cultural norms and limits the education, income, and job opportunities for women. This has been clearly evidenced by the repeated defeat of the Equal Rights Amendment in Congress, which feminists have been championing its passing since 1923 to no avail. Why is this, exactly? If women are treated as men’s equal, then why can’t our nation’s government pass a single law stating exactly this? Maybe what it’s going to take for both sexes to be granted the same protection under the law is for a female to finally be elected President (gasp). This has never seemed as possible as it does right now with the upcoming election. Luckily for our enemies abroad, the possible future Madam President of the U.S. has already stepped off the BiPolar Menstruation Rollercoaster! Whew, thank the Lord for this or else. . . KABOOM!
Sincerely with much love (more so than your parents probably ever gave you),
PCC,
confessed feminist and voice of his generation (not Lena Dunham).
