The advice “Don’t miss an opportunity to see a band you love,” prompted me to buy tickets to see one of my favorite childhood bands in concert. At a rock festival in May, a stranger had given me this advice. He told me this due to his disappointment that he did not get to see the band Soundgarden live. The lead singer, Chris Cornell, had taken his life in May. We ended the conversation in a mutual agreement to seize any moment we could to see one of our favorite artists.

Shortly after the stranger’s advice, I bought tickets to see Linkin Park. I didn’t listen to them as much as I did when I was younger, but I had always wanted to see them live. You don’t have to be a Linkin Park fan to understand how loved and influential they are. A few bands have made my bucket list, and Linkin Park had been one of them that made the cut.

18 days before the concert, I received the heartbreaking news that Chester Bennington, the band’s lead singer, had committed suicide. He happened to take his life on the birthday of his good friend, Chris Cornell. My heart had shattered knowing I would never get see them.

American society is no stranger to suicide. It sadly occurs often enough in local communities and is frequently exposed in the media with shows such as 13 Reasons Why 13. Our society has also lost other famous icons to suicide such as actor, Robin Williams and singer, Kurt Cobain of Nirvana.

Outsiders may look at these tragic events and not understand why Cornell or Bennington would want to end their lives. Sure, people go through tough times, but why would they kill themselves? They had it all…right? They had money, fame, fortune, and millions of fans that loved them, along with their friends and family. Chester left behind 6 children and a wife, while Chris left behind 3 children and a wife. It is baffling to anyone when you see a black and white picture of someone’s life. However, no one sees the true colors of what their life was really like. Their deaths show that no matter anyone’s social situation, whether someone is rich, poor, straight, gay, male or female, suicidal thoughts and depression can spread like a disease in one’s mind.

Being a rock star is not always as glamorous as it seems. Both singers have admitted in past interviews that they struggled with drugs and alcohol. Combining mental instability with brain inhibiting substances can be a deadly combination.

What is even more tragic about their deaths are the many red flags and warning signs that these two singers showed that seemed to go unnoticed or just were dismissed as unimportant. Chester openly talked about his suicidal thoughts in a 2009 interview with Kerrang. The lyrics of Linkin Park’s songs are fueled by Chester’s pain. Listening to their music now is hard when you hear Chester sing lyrics like:

When my time comes

Forget the wrong that I’ve done

Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed

From "Leave Out All the Rest"

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)

From "Somewhere I Belong"

Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There'd never be a past

From "Easier to Run"

Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control

From "Waiting for the End"

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending

From "Crawling"

A lot of pain can be heard in Chris’s lyrics too. Both singers rarely had any “happy” songs. It could be said that their lyrics are prophetic in themselves regarding how their lives ended.

Before you think, “Why on earth would they have a reason to kill themselves?,” try to remove yourself from your third-party perspective, and step into their shoes. Try to see from their point of view. What social outside factors and psychological inside factors had caused the harmful thoughts to take root in their minds? For them to believe that they simply don’t matter is utterly absurd in our minds but was a validated belief in theirs.

Both Cornell’s and Bennington’s music got their fans through tough times. The pain and real raw human emotion they expressed had touched so many. Unfortunately, nothing could save them from their own tough times. Their music and memory will live on forever, and the world of rock will never be the same.