Earlier this week I sat with some special people in my life and tried to articulate what I wish my high school self would have taken to heart. What she could have learned without experiencing the struggle that comes with doing it herself. One of us talked of realizing passions earlier in life, another the desire to be more intentional about connecting with others. At the time, I couldn’t think of a good compilation of lessons I wish I had learned sooner. So, after much thought and consideration, this is what I have come up with. The wisest words I wish I could shared with my younger naïve self:

“If you gotta force it, just leave it alone. Relationships, friendships, ponytails. Just leave it” - Reyna Biddy

Man oh man. This was a struggle as a freshman in high school. I thought that if I didn’t force it, then I would be quitting. That I would be missing out on an opportunity that wouldn’t come again. Or maybe that if I didn’t force it, the people in life would think that I didn’t care or didn’t want to put in the effort. I was wrong on so many levels. The forcing only made things worse and uncomfortable and exhausting. It wasn’t until later in life when I chilled out and found people that just stuck. That didn’t need to be constantly on the receiving end of my efforts. The ones that feel like no work at all. Those are the treasured bonds. Those are the ones you want. The relationships that come easy, so that when you do have to put in the effort, will be less of a chore and more of a choice.

“Show up. Even when you don’t feel like showing up” - Utpal Vaishnav

So many times have I just wanted to give up and give in. To throw in the towel and just say “forget it." Especially, in high school where everything feels like the biggest deal. “Oh my gosh I totally embarrassed myself in front of that cute guy”, or “I said that really stupid thing to my friend." But you know what? It’s so much easier, in the long run, to just face it. Head on. And not hide from the things that make us cringe with shame. So, my dear younger self. Don’t take days to figure things out. Don’t let it slide and say you’ll figure it out tomorrow. Show up sweetheart. Even when it’s painful, even when it makes you feel like the dumbest person on earth, even when you don’t know what to do. Just do it. Because showing up demonstrates you’re trying and that’s all you can do.

“Everything you are - your mama has contributed to. Maybe thank her again” *

My mom deserves a book dedicated to her tireless efforts of raising me into a woman that I can be proud of. And I definitely don’t appreciate her like I should. So, the sixteen-year-old me needs to realize that she had the confidence to become the leader she is because of those sports her mom signed her up for without asking. Or the reason she is so “up for anything” is because her mom made her try new things when any new opportunity came into sight. Or the reason she has a huge capacity for encouraging others was because a day didn’t go by that her mama didn’t remind her of how proud of her she was. And most importantly, that same mama took each situation that she spoke of and pointed it back to the Lord and His unfailing love. So, thank that mama of yours for all she has done because you’ll never be able to fully comprehend how much it really is.

“Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will” - John Green

If I could have gotten this through my head years ago I could have saved my heart from days of fear and attempts at controlling the outcome of situations. Each time I chose to try and take things into my own hands, I took away an opportunity to trust the Lord with it, and not try to manipulate the circumstances to check off my own agenda. I mean my plan will always be inferior compared to the perfect plan Christ has for my life. So, little control freak, just take a deep breath and relax.

“It doesn’t matter how it looks to other people. If this is something you gotta do, then you do it.” - Rocky Balboa

This is still a work in progress. And it’s being met with each dance class I take, each time I raise my hand in a class that I feel way out of my depth in, and most importantly when I talk about my love for Christ. Little Makayla - listen up because this one is important. There’s things in your life that you will choose not to do because you’re scared of how other people will perceive it. Don’t let others define the adventures you have and the memories you make. You’re better than that, and you have a lot more going for you than a people regulated life.

“Take your broken heart and make it into art” - Carrie Fisher

Oh sweet girl. I know those heartbreaks and tragedies that haunt your young heart. I know that you would rather keep them inside and not let the world see all that pain. But, what’s that really going to do for you? The Lord gave you emotions, it’s okay to express them. And if I can, I would like to suggest writing. I know that’s something that makes you vulnerable, but girl, it also makes you shine. To have a sense of pride in something beautiful. That creativity of yours needs to be put to use. So, take those hurts and lay them out on a piece paper, and watch as the Lord ministers to your heart through words that you were gonna keep inside.

“Stay soft, it looks beautiful on you” - Nayyirah Waheed

This one’s pretty simple. All the stuff that you have been through, little one, will make you hard and bitter and oh so angry if you let it. Don’t. Take it to the Lord and keep that empathy and that sweetness in your voice and that never fleeting smile. Because that will make you stronger than building up walls and putting up thorns that just hurt other people ever will. Stay soft.

“A little more kindness, a little less judgement” *

I know that you think you have it all together. With your morals all in a line. Your lack of regrets and that goody two shoes reputation that drives you crazy. But you don’t. You, like everyone, on this planet, are a sinful mess. So, take that judgement and throw it to the side because you have no right. You don’t have to agree with what they’re doing and you don’t have to support it, but it’s not your job to condemn. Instead, maybe spread a little bit of love to remind the other sinful mess over there that they aren’t alone.

“Love Jesus with your whole heart. Love People. Keep it Simple.”

* These quotes are from unknown authors