Most people know anxiety as a feeling of worry, uneasiness, usually about an event or something with an unknown. The definition of anxiety that people with the disorder know is a nervous disorder plaguing you with excessive uneasiness and apprehension making you have compulsive behavior or panic attacks. I personally just started living with the second definition of anxiety.
Before my freshman year of college, I never thought I had a true anxiety disorder. While I have friends who suffer from this condition, I always thought that I would just get anxious here and there. It wasn’t until the last month of the 2015 fall semester that I started to experience my first major panic attack. I called the health care clinic on campus and asked to speak to a counselor. The counselor on the phone kept asking me a set of routine questions to understand what was happening and going on with me. I kept answering with the same generic answer as well as asking, “What is happening to me?” This moment may seem like nothing, but it was a huge change in my life. I wasn’t able to see a counselor until a few days later. Over the rest of the semester, I kept seeing someone and talking to them every week about what has been going on. At the last session at the end of the semester, my counselor said that based on her professional opinion I do suffer from an anxiety disorder. While my anxiety is not major, that moment was a real life changer for me.
Finding out that your mental health isn’t what you thought it was is terrifying; I didn’t think anything would ever be the same. I didn’t really tell that many people what had happened to me that day I made the call or what I had been diagnosed with. I was worried that if I told people that I suffer from anxiety that they would automatically think of the first definition and try to relate to me because, now and again, everyone deals with some form of anxiety. When I finally did tell someone about my anxiety, their response was, “How can I help?” It wasn’t until a friend of mine named David asked questions about my anxiety issues and didn’t necessarily ask how he could help. I started talking to David more about living with anxiety and what it was like. I feel like he actually started to understand what I would go through. To my knowledge, David doesn't suffer with anxiety, but he makes an effort to comprehend what I go through on a daily basis. The effort he puts in to trying to understand makes me realize that it's okay to ask for help or to just simply open up.
Many people suffer from anxiety disorder but people won’t know who has anxiety unless they see someone in a state of panic or compulsive behavior. When someone tells you that they suffer from anxiety, that doesn’t always mean that they want help or advice. Sometimes it’s just that they need someone, who isn’t a counselor, to talk to and have them understand that what they are going through is scary. Panic attacks can come at any moment and they are different for everyone, when someone outside of the counselor knows it makes going through a day that much easier.
Over the course of the new semester, I started being more open about my anxiety and telling people how every day, I’m scared that something will trigger a panic attack. I know that as long as I have a few good friends in my corner, they can help me if my anxiety ever gets to the point that I have an attack in public.
The next time someone confides in you about having an anxiety disorder, don’t automatically try and relate to them. Every person is different so they may just need a friend to talk to, not someone to receive advice from that they already know or have even tried. However, that doesn't mean to not give advice or help. If the person who confided in you asks for advice or help, give it to them but remember in the back of your head that everyone deals with issues in different ways. Living with anxiety is something that a large portion of the population deals with everyday, it’s important that people start trying to understand the disorder rather than trying to offer solutions. When you look at a person remember that everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed them. Sometimes understanding is a lot more helpful than advice.
