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Winter Break As Told By 'SpongeBob'

I'm ready!

Morgan Janes

Dec 14, 2015

University of Maryland College Park

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The dreaded week of finals is coming to an end in the near future, and during those stressful days of studying all of us have only one thing on our minds – winter break. Whether you’re ecstatic to be at home and as far away from the campus diner as possible, or you’re already pumped for next semester, chances are that at some point you won't know what to do with yourself for five whole weeks away from school. As a freshman, I personally have yet to experience a college winter break, but I anticipate that those few weeks back at home will go something like this:

1. When you finally finish your last project and devote your last ounce of energy to celebration.

2. Looking through your closet, wondering what to leave and what to take, and getting all kinds of stressed out.

3. When nothing beats being reunited with your bed.

4. Finally seeing all your friends from home who go to school miles away.

5. When all of a sudden you start thinking about your responsibilities…

6. And then remember at least some of them can wait until next semester.

7. You have to catch up on all your favorite TV shows…

8. Even if it means going to bed at an ungodly hour, or just not sleeping at all.

9. You will probably eat all of the food in the house…

10. And then you might decide to compensate by getting in a good workout, or at least putting in your best effort.

11. Unfortunately, you’re bound to run into some less-than-pleasant people you went to high school with.

12. But as usual, you kill them with kindness.

13. Winter break is a great time to catch up on a good book or learn more about a topic that interests you.

14. You might even be able to squeeze in a winter class, complete some applications for an internship, or think about your future plans.

15. You'll calculate the money you can afford to spend next semester and wonder whether you can afford to eat anywhere else but the dining hall.

16. When it’s time to go back to college, the thought of leaving your friends is too much to bear.

17. But when you get back to school, you know that spring semester is going to be the best one yet!

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Winter Break As Told By 'SpongeBob'

I'm ready!

1. When you finally finish your last project and devote your last ounce of energy to celebration.

2. Looking through your closet, wondering what to leave and what to take, and getting all kinds of stressed out.

3. When nothing beats being reunited with your bed.

4. Finally seeing all your friends from home who go to school miles away.

5. When all of a sudden you start thinking about your responsibilities…

6. And then remember at least some of them can wait until next semester.

7. You have to catch up on all your favorite TV shows…

8. Even if it means going to bed at an ungodly hour, or just not sleeping at all.

9. You will probably eat all of the food in the house…

10. And then you might decide to compensate by getting in a good workout, or at least putting in your best effort.

11. Unfortunately, you’re bound to run into some less-than-pleasant people you went to high school with.

12. But as usual, you kill them with kindness.

13. Winter break is a great time to catch up on a good book or learn more about a topic that interests you.

14. You might even be able to squeeze in a winter class, complete some applications for an internship, or think about your future plans.

15. You'll calculate the money you can afford to spend next semester and wonder whether you can afford to eat anywhere else but the dining hall.

16. When it’s time to go back to college, the thought of leaving your friends is too much to bear.

17. But when you get back to school, you know that spring semester is going to be the best one yet!

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!