We've been experiencing the real brunt of Wisconsin winter over these past few days, and although the snow on the ground looks quite pretty, the windburn on my cheeks and the frozen snot does. Not at all. Inspired by the Miley Cyrus song "7 Things (that I hate about you)" that was my childhood, here are the second things that I hate about you, Wisconsin winter.
1. Icy sidewalks
I don't think there is actually anything more embarrassing than slipping on ice during your walk to class. It's not like you wanted to go to class anyway, but still, you put in the effort of putting on a coat and going out to be a good student, yet here you are now on the icy ground with a bruised tailbone and a bruised ego.
2. Phone killer
I will never understand why exactly this happens, but for some reason, whenever I try to use my phone in the cold, after only 10 minutes or so it just completely dies. I watch my battery go from 92% to 0% in a matter of seconds, which is definitely one of the biggest pains in the butt. Trying to get an Uber? "Nope!" your phone says. Trying to get directions to your friend's apartment? "Nope!". Trying to get a cute picture in the snow? Once again, "Nope!".
3. Clothing issues
I HATE getting ready in the morning. Putting thought and effort into what I am going to wear that day is not my thing. So when I'm trying to get ready before my 8:30 am class, the last thing I want to do is look at the ridiculous weather for the day and figure out exactly what the best thing to wear would be and how many layers I need. Sure it might be cold outside, but how cold? How windy? Snow? Rain? Will my professor crank the thermostat up to 85 degrees again so I'm dying as soon as I step inside? It's all just too much work and makes me miss my simple summer t-shirt & shorts outfits.
4. Planning showers
This was a shock to me coming from the south. I guess it seems pretty obvious, but it sort of freaked me out when I walked outside after taking a shower one morning and found my hair to be frozen solid. I mean stiff, crispy solid. Now I have to thoughtfully plan out when to take a shower, which means I have to plan when I workout. I even had to buy my first hair blow dryer. Who would've thought that even in this modern age, surviving winter would take this much effort?
5. Electric shock
Colder weather means dryer air, and a lil' fun scientific fun fact for ya is that dry air tends to result in a build-up of electrons on your skin, which is why you get those stupid shocks every time you touch a door handle or when your friend taps your shoulder. Please tell me I'm not the only person who finds this as one of the most annoying things ever.
6. Excessive darkness
Nothing is more depressing than watching the sunset at 4:30 p.m. Especially when you still have one more class and a lab to go to and you have to walk there in the bitter cold darkness. It plays with your mind too, making you think its 11 p.m. and time to go to bed when in reality it's only 7 p.m...
7. Going out is ruined
I personally believe that the "liquid blanket" is a myth. Truthfully, I don't know how us girls do it, going out on Saturday nights in just a skirt and crop top when it's -1 degrees outside, nor do I understand why we put up with it. I say that we protest and make sweatpants and hoodies a newly fashionable and appropriate thing to wear to parties. I am 200% over frozen popsicle legs and frostbite.
Summer, come back soon.
