It's hard to imagine life now that you're gone. It's hard to accept the reality. I don't want to accept it. I refuse. It feels like you're still here. I feel like I'm going to wake up one morning and hear the caller ID on the phone say your name. I just can't believe it.

It all started a year ago. My uncle Russ was diagnosed with cancer. The news broke the hearts of the family, but we knew we had to be strong for him. It was hard to accept the reality. It still is.

Uncle Russ, we miss you. We miss you more than you would ever know. We love you.

You are not in pain anymore, and that gives me peace. I know when you got to heaven, you got to see our loved ones who've gone on before. I'm sure the first ones to greet you as soon as you entered heaven was Grandpa and Grammama Stephens, Grandpa and Grandma Bittle, and sweet Destinee.

We know that you will keep a watch over us and protect us.

It seems like yesterday the whole family was at granny and papa's celebrating our upcoming birthday after Thanksgiving dinner. Those memories will live on but the future will never be the same without you.

I'm not looking forward to our birthday anymore because I know I won't get to call you. If I had a way to call heaven, I would call every day just to hear your voice again.

This just doesn't seem real. It feels like an illusion. It feels like a nightmare you can't wake up from.

It's impossible to move on.

Your wings were ready but our hearts were not.

In loving memory of Russell Bittle.

November 29, 1959, to May 20, 2018

A loving husband, father, son, brother and uncle.

Fly high.

We will meet again one day.