I know usually I only post about entertainment, gaming or Rooster Teeth but today I have something serious I need to talk about.
I refuse to stay quiet about rape and rape culture anymore, we are a society that accepts rape culture and has it intertwined in the things we do. Things are blown off as "boys just being boys" or blamed on the victim saying "She deserved it for what she was wearing". As a society, we have often put blame on the victim for drinking, what they wear, or simply "not keeping their legs closed" that women keep quiet, and I know first hand how much that hurts. According to "RAINN", 54% of rape victims are between 18-34 years old, and according to the "National Sexual Violence Resource Center" 1 in 5 women and girls will be raped in their lifetime.
Why am I suddenly writing about rape? Why am I not going to be quiet about my own suffering or let others suffering be swept under the rug? A facebook post caught my eye yesterday. According to CNN, a judge in Canada had told a rape victim, who was 19 years old when she was attacked, "Why couldn't you just keep your knees together?" and Why didn't she "skew her pelvis or push her bottom to the sink to avoid penetration". My experience was not like the victims in this case, however, I can tell you that I tried to keep my legs together, I tried to get up, but I could not. I was not strong enough, and in another case, I had been drugged and could not even move my own body. I do not remember anything other than blacking out and waking up to that cold smile asking me if it was good for me.
Rape is not an easy thing to talk about, nor can you combat it with something as easy as just keeping your knees together when someone is forcing you to do something. Nor is it easy to recall, sometimes I can not hug people because the force reminds me of that day, sometimes my fiance can not even touch my shoulders or I am all of a sudden sent back to that day and he has to shake me back. But this callous advice was not the worse thing this judge said, no what was worse was what he went on to say to the acquitted rapist.
According to CNN the judge went on to say "I want you to tell your friends, your male friends, that they have to be far more gentle with women. They have to be far more patient. And they have to be very careful. to protect themselves" and goes on to say "young women want to have sex, particularly when they're drunk. Some sex and pain sometimes go together and that's not necessarily a bad thing". I want you to reread what he has said and really take it in. These are things society has always told us in different ways, in tv shows and movies where drunk college girls were portrayed as the women they guys always had sex with, and that it was what they wanted or their own fault for it happening. This is something normalized and that we need to stop.
Rape of females and males alike is wrong, and I cannot sit by and be quiet anymore. I refuse to watch society keep going down this path. As painful as it is to come out and say this, as much as I know I will get backlash for this. I needed to write this. This needed to be said. Although I can never face my rapists in court, I will not be quiet. I will not act like it never happened. I am facing my fears, so I can hopefully touch someone who needs the courage to stand up to theirs. I will be here, and I will not be going anywhere.
