Something dawned on me when I found myself tearing up in a popular college bar during a night of Halloween weekend. I had just found out my crush had a new girlfriend & my housemate had her long term boyfriend visiting. All these things made me feel alone plus I was a little tipsy which just made me more emotional. Why was I so upset about being single?

I recently ended a 3 & a half year relationship. I was completely dependent on my ex-boyfriend, I had no friends from my hometown so he was the only one I had when I was home on breaks. I believe that is why my relationship lasted as long as it did. We became more like friends and all the passion was gone. So I finally had the courage to break it off.

I assumed I would find another boy to make me happy soon after, which I did. He was nothing like my ex that is why I think I was attracted to him. But truthfully I was attracted to the idea of leaving college with a smart successful boyfriend that would be perfect to bring home to mom and dad. I was completely over thinking after meeting this guy in the bar. I believe this was because I was completely freaked out of being single when I graduated. This idea is so outdated. I always considered myself a feminist, but why was I so concerned about finding a smart guy to date? Maybe because my nana always asked if I have met anyone or maybe because my big brother is currently moving in with his college sweetheart. I kept thinking I might have missed my chance to meet someone who I could actually share a future with because I was in a relationship with a guy from home for most of college.

After being sad for like a day about my crush dating someone else I came to realization graduating from college without a significant other is not a bad thing. If anything it's a good thing. I shouldn't have to depend on a guy to make me happy. I'm in college to get a degree that will lead to a successful career. I plan on going to graduate school, working many different jobs, & traveling after college. I believe this will make me happy in the end, not a serious boyfriend who I met in undergrad. I have many opportunities to meet the right guy and it will be a better relationship because I will be happy with myself. I will be graduating from college in December 2016 with a degree in sociology, a minor in peace studies, and an amazing group of friends and I will be happy about it.