I remember my first day of treatment like it was yesterday. I remember walking in completely terrified and so scared of what was unknown. I remember meeting people that will forever hold a special place in my heart. But most of all, I remember nothing more than to be "recovered." That was my goal. I wanted that title and I wanted to be able to tell people I was recovered from anorexia. But the truth is that I will never be "recovered."

To be completely recovered means that negative thoughts about food will never happen to me again. Being realistic, I will probably always have some negative thoughts about food. The difference now is that I know how to control them and how to make them positive.

Recovery is constant. Recovery is having negative thoughts but overriding them with the positive ones. Recovery is choosing to wake up in the morning and brush your teeth and get dressed. Being an adult is extremely challenging and stressful at times, but you're doing it. We all face different challenges and stressors. You'll cry and scream sometimes, and feel free to do it all you want. But please don't let yourself give up. Because I swear I never thought I would be where I am today. And I am here. And I am fighting. And I am so thankful that I gave myself the chance to recover and trusted the process.

Recovery is a conscious choice. It is not something brought about by repeat hospital visits and pills and therapy sessions. These only supplement it. Recovery is a conscious choice to wake up every day and want to live. It's a choice to drive across a bridge and not want to jump in the water but admire the view. It's a chance at life.

So now, my goal is to be "in recovery" for the rest of my life. What a wonderful place to be.

"The problem is that you don't choose recovery. You have to keep chasing recovery, over and over and over again. You have to make that choice 5-6 times each day. You have to make that choice even when you really don't want to. It's not a single choice, and it's not easy."