Ladies, it’s time for “the talk.”

Unless you live in a cave these days, you’ve probably seen an advertisement of an attractive, slim, woman modeling for a company using how they look to sell the product. If you don’t own a television, you have probably watched the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at some point-- where ironically enough gym attendance increases dramatically. People take heavy interest in celebrity icons who always look stunning and perhaps believe the old, but still alive, stereotype that women should be toned or “skinny” in light of how society sees it.

It can seem hard for women to ever be happy with who they are or perhaps what they see in the mirror. There are a lot of fears women seem to have about their bodies or about the gym in general.

Most women try to compare themselves and take advice from celebrities on what the celebrity does for their workouts and fitness habits. However, you DO realize celebrities like the Kardashians have trainers who make their workouts according to each sister’s capabilities in flexibility, mobility, strength, conditioning, nutrition, etc. If you copy exactly what they do from a magazine article and then don’t understand why you don’t become a pseudo Kardashian yourself-- it’s because you are not them!

Each person is unique and should work out on how their own body would function, not what Kim Kardashian did today.

That is like me saying if I shoot a basketball repeatedly and work out like Lebron James, that I can become physically just like him-- even though I’m like 5’10 180 lbs and he’s 6’7 250 lbs. Same thing, right?

No, it's not. We all are unique and we all need individualized plans to fit our own capabilities. The fear of bulking or looking “manly” is usually the most problematic. Fear of gaining size may frighten them into starvation, depression, anxiety and most tragically the cardio section of any fitness center. After spending what probably feels like an eternity on a treadmill, they then find themselves in the corner of the gym only using those colorful, yet useless 5-8 lb dumbbells while working on only their arms and thighs.

The name of the game is calories burned and anything short of leaving feeling like you’ve just been hit by a bus, is failure to certain women.

BUT... WHY?

First of all, you don’t need me to sit here saying how deep down you all are special because that’s probably crap you don’t want to hear for the 80^th time. I’m not here to take Dr. Phil’s job. Women have less testosterone in their bodies than men. End of story. Testosterone is why men have the advantage when it comes to becoming muscular. Women can have muscles and do since its part of a human’s anatomy, obviously, but can’t compare to anything a man could lift or look like. Women DO NOT have enough testosterone in their bodies to ever look “manly,” or ever achieve the strength that a man can without artificial enhancement.

However, women do have some testosterone and men have some estrogen. We each have both but it’s our gender that determines the quantity of each hormone. That is the main science point behind it all, but just saying how unbelievably impossible it is for woman to become “manly,” probably won’t convince you.

So let’s talk about how the body functions.

Metabolism. Metabolism is how your body burns or breaks down calories daily. It’s your energy source, your wingman (or woman) at the bar in this analogy helping you function in anything you do. Your metabolism is working 24/7 to give your body the necessary energy it needs to live. Working out causes a greater calorie burn which is turn makes your metabolism work harder to keep functioning. I’m sure you have heard of the whole "calories in vs. calories out" argument. Lifting weights-- I mean actually lifting weights and not those 5-8 lb pieces of crap you call weights, actually speeds up your metabolism faster than running on the treadmill in the long-run once you are done working out.

We all know your heartrate will go up when working out and you pant and/or become more and more tired-- thus you’re burning calories. Ok, you’re burning calories right now by reading this but you are burning a lot more exercising. The more weight you lift, the higher the chance of a greater caloric expenditure where your metabolism will burn more calories at a faster rate.

Fast forward some weeks or months, because you know, Rome wasn’t built in a day-- and you’ll start to lose weight. BUT, that doesn’t mean you can “have it your way” and eat Burger King each day. You’ll still need a balanced diet and for most women, you will need to ACTUALLY eat REAL FOOD to consistently keep your metabolism working at a higher rate.

Notice how I capitalized certain words on purpose because majority of women who aspire to be leaner or what have you either don’t eat anything, very little, or drink protein shakes only which aren’t meant to replace because wait for it….wait for it-- ACTUAL, REAL FOOD.

By not giving your body what it needs daily, your body will start to believe you are starving yourself in which case your body holds in fat to keep all your organs running and you alive. You see, your body doesn’t give two craps about your desire to lose weight. Its only job is to keep you alive and will take any precaution in order to do that. You’re probably right now saying to yourself, “but I do eat,” and sure, that is true but if you work out like a maniac, your body will need more calories to continue functioning properly from all you do each day, so are you eating enough? Are you sure? Still nodding your head yes? I would beg to differ on that.

Lifting heavier weights and trying exercises like a barbell bench press or barbell back squat will still have you tired and probably feeling sorry for whoever is wasting their time running ten miles as they watch the food network at their local gym.

With a progressive strength program, you will start to see results little by little.

I’m not saying never hop on a treadmill again because cardio is important but so is a good strength program to really see definition you’ve always wanted in your arms, legs, stomach, etc.

By the way, women actually respond better metabolically, to compound exercises like bench press, squats, or deadlifts because the body uses more muscles (means more energy burned) to functionally be able to do the exercise so there is a method to the madness. Performing bicep curls with those “trendy” 5-8 lbs might be a challenge if you never have done it before and weigh 90 pounds, eventually that will seem too easy and thus is why you will plateau and will need to go heavier to continue to improve.

Our bodies are products of adaption whether it's to light, darkness, cold, heat, etc. So it’s understandable that you would hit a plateau only curling 8 lbs since your body will adapt over time from doing the exact same thing over and over.

Challenging yourself to try harder exercises like the bench press will shock your body out of its comfort zone and have you once again seeing progress. If you don’t believe that, google Kate Upton’s workouts by her trainer Ben Bruno and even if you do believe in what I just said... Google it anyway. He’s awesome at what he does for her.

Honestly, incase you skip over that, let me save you some time and direct you directly to his videos.

Majority of women will also say the reason they don’t work out with any real weights or any harder exercises than the usual biceps/triceps ones is because they have a fear of hurting themselves or looking stupid if they perform the movement wrong. Usually, I would say this is where a trainer would come in to give some advice but if you don’t feel like you are leaning in that direction then don’t worry-- there is a hot new concept only about 30 years old, give or take, called the Internet where you can find videos and information at a moment’s notice.

Research, invest and take a real interest.

The way I see it is this: You can spend time watching some lame show about obviously fake, scripted housewives fighting each other OR you can go online and research exercises to help you achieve your goals.

It's all about priorities, people!

No one starts with the knowledge of how to because we all have to learn over time. If injuring yourself is a real concern then speak up because the gym should be there to assist their members. If you are worried people will look at you oddly, trust me when I say this, no one actually cares that much.

People are so consumed with what they are doing that unless you are doing cartwheels around the middle of the gym. Most people will not even pay attention to you. Now, this isn’t a guarantee and sometimes usually a guy will come over and try to “help you” but if he flexes unnecessarily at you or is in any way disrespectful and annoying, then you know where to tell him to shove it and walk away. Besides, you think men just instantly have the knowledge of how to exercise properly with good form?

No!

Majority of them have their heads so far up their a** to even take advice from anyone like me, so I beg you to outdo the men and show them a thing or two because you took the time to learn the movement correctly.

This last point is based off somewhat of the previous point-- most women always seem intimidated by “the men’s section” of the gym and think they don’t belong there. Just to break the ice. A lot of men work out to help become more attractive towards women themselves, despite what they may say otherwise, so that right there shouldn’t be intimidating since they are just trying to get your attention.

Next, like I said, most men haven’t a clue about what they are doing in the gym so if you one-up them, they won’t be able to procreate from sheer embarrassment and probably most of them shouldn’t.

Personally, I find it amazing when a woman performs a deadlift or any exercise better than any man in the gym could or did. I love how it is literally a middle finger to the worst stereotype of all and that weights are 'only' for men.

Notice how I mentioned performing the exercise better because again, women most likely won’t be able to go weight for weight in the gym with a man-- and a lot would say they wouldn’t even want to. However, women can make the man look bad if she is performing the exercise correctly-- while the guy breaks his back just to show off which will probably result in injury, physically or emotionally.

The weight section has no gender bias and there are plenty of badass women I know who lift heavy, look great and show up countless amounts of men each and every day.

So go ahead. Show them who’s boss.

Daniel Tosh once said, “women can do anything men can do,” but he was poking fun at the stereotype. I’m actually serious when I say that women can literally do anything men can do. You won’t look bulky because scientifically, you can’t gain the mass a man can. Lifting heavier weights will only boost your metabolism and help you end up looking leaner. Mix in with proper nutrition and become best friends with the fitness world of the internet and you're set.

All we can do is life is constantly learn from one another. The internet was created with information to be shared every day to everyone including yourself.

I encourage all of you to invest in something a little less "Kardashian" and a little more benefitting for your own purposes.